Monday, November 30, 2015

Thirty Days of Thanks: 2015

1. I'm thankful for the small moments of peace I find throughout crazy days.
2. I'm thankful for salmon and the opportunity to cook and share a delicious meal.
3. I'm thankful that my children understand how important education is.
4. I'm thankful for my career and the endless possibilities it gives me.
5. I'm thankful to come home to a house full of love.
6. I'm thankful that puff paint doesn't dry quickly.
7. I'm thankful for my best friend. Twenty years. Births. Loss. Divorce. Marriage. Death. Moves. Distance. We've been there for each other through it all.
8. I'm thankful for new experiences.
9. I'm thankful for a pile of leaves and the giggles that poured through my kitchen window because of it.
10. I am thankful to have a career that I love, a career that I'm good at, a career that challenges me and a career that provides well for my kids.
11. I am thankful for those that help me and support me far more than I deserve.
12. I am thankful for second chances.
13. I am thankful for Avery and her bigger than life hugs.
14. I am thankful for the smell of breakfast cooking and Pandora. I'm thankful to wake up warm and loved.
15. I am thankful for warm chocolate chip cookies before bed, with my kids.
16. I am thankful for Luke and his silliness that makes me laugh.
17. I am thankful for Bai and her helpfulness.
18. I am thankful for carwashes, Chinese food and stolen naps.
19. I am thankful for coffee.
20. I am thankful for friends that feel like family and family that feel like friends. #youarenotmyfriend
21. I am thankful for Peanut and how she always makes me feel like I am doing a good job at this Mom thing.
22. I'm thankful for Roo and how hard she works at everything.
23. I'm thankful for #time with all the kids in my life and seeing them #smile.
24. I'm thankful for a beautiful house that we have made a home.
25. I'm thankful for a safe drive home, amidst the snow.
26. I'm thankful for a kitchen table surrounded by love, laughter and more food than is necessary. I am blessed.
27. I'm thankful for warm blankets and cheesy movies.
28. I'm thankful for a Christmas tree filled with my children's memories.
29. I'm thankful for cuddling and football.
30. I'm thankful for the strength I've found in myself, the weakness I've allowed others to see and the changes that a year can bring

Monday, April 6, 2015

I Promise To Be Better

Work is tiring, my friends. I love my job so much, but it can be exhausting. As I rounded on my unit the other morning, enjoying the quiet of six AM before the madness began, I thought about the people behind the closed doors. This was my fifth shift this week and I was trying to mentally prepare myself for another day of being a nurse.

There is a lot of pleasure in my job. I get to meet some amazing patients. I get to work with some fantastic people. I get to be involved with families and friends and cheer on my patients as they go home, no longer needing my care.

There is a lot of hard in my job, too. Death. That is never easy. Unexpected roadblocks and challenging personalities. Everything must be handled with understanding on my face and a calm in my voice.

The shift before this particular one, I spent so much time answering call lights. It seemed that every single time I sat down to chart, one or two or five call lights would go off. When there is only myself and an aide to answer them, it often resulted in a couple people feeling neglected. I didn't want to make them wait, but there was no way to tell them that I was trapped helping in another room and would be there as soon as I could.

But, I digress...

So, I'm walking down my hall and readying myself for another day of caring for each of these individuals. I know that these people have no idea what I do all day. They have no concern for anything going on, other than what is happening between their own four walls. If I am not there to provide care for them immediately, they feel I have failed them. It doesn't matter that another person is deteriorating and I don't know why or that some other person needs my help going to the bathroom. They can only see as far as the end of their own bed, their own predicament and their own needs.

I realized...sometimes we go through life like that. Stuck in our own little self-made room, unable to see what the people around us are going through. Unable to acknowledge that they may have their own pains and struggles. We become so focused on our own needs and our own story, that we forget that everyone else is writing their story, too.

I promise to be better.

To be aware of the challenges that others are facing and to not become so overwhelmed with my own that I forget that it is not all about me. I do not want to go through life blind to the plights of those I love, because I cannot see past my own obstacles. While my load may be heavy, I do not serve the world by carrying it. I only serve myself. Unless I open my eyes to the load that others have, acknowledge it and ease it in some way, I have failed. A smile. Encouragement. Gratitude. Patience. They are all free, yet priceless.

I promise to be better.