Sunday, November 10, 2013

Baby Ani

Two days ago, my baby was born.
 
Okay, so she isn't technically mine, but I love her like one of my own.
 
My best friend, Amey, and I have been friends longer in our lives, than we haven't. That is a lot of memories, experiences and fabulousness, over the last nearly two decades. One amazing thing we have always shared with each other, is the birth of our children. I still feel so privileged and awed, that she would allow me to share such a special day and moment with her and her husband.
 
Ani's birth story is Amey's. I won't go into details about everything that happened, because it's not my story to tell. Birth can be such an amazing thing...but it can also remind you so very quickly how miraculous the entire process is. It can remind you that while most deliveries go flawlessly...they don't always follow that path.
 
I hated being a nurse, the day Ani was born. I hated the knowledge I had, because I knew exactly what was happening. There was no placating me with a smile from the medical team, because I read behind the smile. I saw the stress and concern, on all their faces. I knew what the medications and procedures were for. I knew what the worst case scenario could be. I knew what the absolute worst case scenario could be. Ignorance is bliss, when a person you love is the one at stake.
 
I admit it...I panicked. Inside. I wanted to fix it...and I couldn't. I wanted the entire scene unfolding before me to go away...but it didn't. I questioned ever wanting to go into labor and delivery as a career choice, because I could barely hold it together. I know now that I could have held it together flawlessly, if it hadn't been Amey. I left the hospital that day...and cried. Everyone was fine. Everyone is fine. But I wasn't. I don't like the feeling of helplessness and I don't like being scared. I hold it together for everyone around me...I don't like to lose control...and I felt completely out of control at that moment.
 
I'm so happy that everything turned out the way it did. I'm relieved that out of a worst case scenario, came the best result. I'm thankful that all of the births we have shared in the past, have been relatively easy. Every baby is a miracle...including Miss Ani...and so is her Momma. ♥
 
AniLerrie Kendrienne
7 lbs 8 oz 19.5 in


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