Ever have "those" moments? Those moments when you look around, on some unsuspecting Tuesday morning and feel...like you're a bad mom.
You didn't even see your kids before they went off to school this morning, because you were still sleeping. You are a lazy, lazy woman, who worked late last night and just couldn't. drag. herself. out. of. bed. Due to their own schedules, you realize that you haven't seen one of them since yesterday morning, when she was getting dropped off at school. Hey, Mommy loves you...
Speaking of school...they have been back to school for a month now. Yet, you can barely remember your kids' teachers' names. In your defense, each child has multiple teachers, thanks to the way charter school runs the show...and the kid in jr high has like seven...all by herself. *thinking* "Three kids times three teachers, plus one kid times seven teachers, plus the Peanut in preschool is at least...108 names I'd have to remember." Maybe this isn't my fault, after all.
You used to be the Mom that would all but background check anyone who looked at your kids. Now, you get a random text, on a Monday afternoon, that says that your daughter's gymnastic carpool is set up. You don't have to worry about driving her. Three times a week. Thank you, kind, unknown stranger. You had me at "You don't have to worry about driving her. Three times a week." Your day continues until a few hours later, when you come to your senses and ask who the hell is at the other end of the text. Perhaps you should be better about saving contacts in your phone...
You also realize that you haven't done or seen very much homework at all in the last month. And I don't mean the kind that discusses ABG's, abruption placentae or PCA's. You've done plenty of that homework. I mean homework about the 50 states, reading comprehension, Latin or Spanish. Hey, kids, how's your homework going? Wanna trade? The weekly progress reports that you get in your email (and that you find time to read four days later) show that the kids are all passing and doing fine. Without your help. Well fine. No, seriously...you guys wanna trade?
Then it hits you. Your house is still standing. Your kids are still thriving. Chores are still sort of being done. You have raised children that are somewhat self-sufficient and who are living in a house with support other than yourself. They aren't starving to death. (As evidenced by the 4 year old who thinks she is cleverly sneaking potato chips at 8:48 in the morning.) I hear you crunching! Perhaps you aren't a bad mom. Perhaps you are doing everything right, in order for your offspring to survive in this cold, cruel world.
So, you're welcome, children. You're welcome, that Mommy is a hot mess, flying by the seat of her pants, trying to make it through this last year of school. You're welcome that Mommy is working too many hours and really needs to learn how to say no. You're welcome that I haven't brought up the disgusting mess under your bed, because I'm just too tired to deal with it. (However, know that I am aware of it...so watch the attitude, or you'll come home on some unsuspecting Wednesday and find that mess ON your bed.) You're welcome, that Mommy-guilt is real and powerful...so you get spoiled on my rare days off.
Thank you. For being amazing kids.