Sunday, December 16, 2012

Sugar Cookies Madness

Nothing is simple in my house. Here's the steps for sugar cookie madness...

1. Lose the recipe you've used for years...spend an hour trying to find it online. End up on facebook, playing bejeweled.
2. Reign in your A.D.D. and decide just to try a new recipe.
3. FOURTEEN cups of flour? Maybe doubling it wasn't such a good idea...
4. Seven cups of flour added to mixer...turn it on...POOF!!! Flour e.v.e.r.y.w.h.e.r.e.
5. Transfer mixture back to big bowl that has the other seven cups of flour...and attempt to hand mix it. You might as well be mixing cement, with a plastic spoon.
6. Put half the dough back into the mixer until blended (splattering cookie dough all over yourself, the cabinets and the wall), then put into another bowl. Add the last half of the dough into the mixer until blended, then knead both batches together, by hand.
7. Notice that the puppy is coated in flour...a victim of the POOF!!!
8. Break your rule of not eating raw cookie dough and lick the beaters. (Let's be honest for a moment...you made up the "no cookie dough because of raw egg rule" because... you don't want to share the beaters. Those darn kids came along and wanted you to share and well...You. Don't. Want. To. "Umm, no cookie dough for you...there is raw egg! You'll get salmonella! *hide behind open fridge door and pops some in mouth, giggling*)
9. Kids fight over who gets to color the sugar, grease the cookie sheets and sprinkle the cookies. You love being a referee. "For the love of all that is holy...you will all get a turn!!"
10. Contemplate drinking the cooking wine. No, the cookies don't requiring cooking wine...but you could probably still find some...
11. First batch comes out and child whispers, "No offense...these are much better than last year..." Huh. Well maybe a lost recipe is a good thing.
12. Tell your kids no more cookies until after dinner.
13. Trip over five kids and two dogs, while trying to coordinate the rolling-out-cookie-cutting-sugar-sprinkling-baking-cooling madness...in a kitchen far too small for this delicate dance. You vow that your next home WILL have a double oven. At least.
14. Tell your kids no more cookies until after dinner.
15. Your best friend is a cookie-rolling-out-cutting-out mad woman. You fall 4 dozen cookies behind, while waiting for the ONE oven...and turn around to see her and a child eating the raw cookie dough. So much for your rule...
16. Your back, knees and feet will hurt. You will contemplate starting a new workout regimen. It will be called "One Tough Cookie" and it will last for hours and hours and hours...
17. Tell your kids No. More. Cookies. Until. After. Dinner.
18. Seventeen-ish dozen cookies later and you'll realize...you're too tired to make dinner now. You actually find yourself thinking, "The cookies have eggs, milk and flour in them...and the tree ones are green...that's a well rounded meal!" ;)
19. You decide to  leave the clean up for the kids and hubby to deal with. They just got seventeen-ish dozen cookies made for them, after all.
20. You walk away from the kitchen...covered in flour, sugar and twitching with anxiety...knowing full well that you'll be doing the dishes in the morning.


Sugar Cookies (not doubled)
2 C Sugar
2 C Margarine
2 Eggs
7 C Flour
1 tsp. Salt
4 tsp. Baking Powder
2 tsp. Baking Soda
2 tsp. Vanilla
1 C Milk
Cream sugar, margarine and eggs until fluffy. Mix dry ingredients together. Add to creamed mixture alternately with milk and vanilla. Blend thoroughly and chill ( I only chilled for 30 min...impatient bunch in this house). Roll out to 1/4 inch thick; cut as desired. Place on greased backing sheets and bake at 375 for 5-10 minutes. (I found that 7 minutes was perfect, for us.)



21. Realize while typing out this recipe that you completely forgot to add the Baking Soda.
Meh. They were still "better than last year". ;)

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