Saturday, October 6, 2012

Pleading For Help

Dear Mom,

Tell me I can do this. Send me a sign. I'm so frustrated with it all. I've done horribly on two tests this week and I'm at my wits end. I never have any down time and every moment of every day is spent figuring out how I can fit in homework, homework and more homework.

I got bronchitis this week and all I want to do is sleep. "Rest", the doctor said. "Take it easy", the doctor said. HA! She knows I'm in school, so she said it with pity in her eyes. Instead, I spent the next day working twelve hours and cramming in homework at clinicals. It took all my might not to face plant the second I walked in the door, so I could actually see the kids before they went to bed.

I want to give up, Mom. I cry, nearly every day. Except for the students in my classes with me, I know that no one understands the mess I've become. I get a lot of "This will all be worth it one day" and "Take it one day at a time", because people don't know what else to say. No one can fathom the amount of pressure I feel on a daily basis.

I know in my heart that I will never quit. It's not me. But how much will I fall apart...trying to hold it all together?

Help me.

Love, Me.

1 comment:

Andrea said...

Sorry you're having such a rough time, hun. And I wish I could do something to help.

I have always admired your strength, your determination and your perseverance. ALWAYS.

But you know what else I admire? When you admit that you're struggling. When you don't hide behind a facade but rather reveal the truth of what you are going through.

That way others can pray for you and encourage you along the way.

And that's just what I'm going to do.

I love you, my friend. And I have such a strong level of faith in you.