Wednesday, September 5, 2012

So...I Turned Into "That" Mom

Yesterday was a big day for Peanut. Not only was it her first day of dance class, but it was also her first day of preschool, as well!

Peanut is my only child who has a little bit of separation anxiety. She wants to be with me, doing what I'm doing, eating what I'm eating, watching what I'm watching and wearing what I'm wearing ("Mom, we are twinners!")...if at all possible. the girl has a bit more than "a little bit" of separation anxiety...

Swimming lessons were a nightmare this summer. She refused to go and would freak out if we tried to leave her with the life guards. Eventually we stopped pushing the issue and by the end of summer she was swimming 6-8 feet unassisted anyway. She just wanted me to teach her...not a bunch of strangers.

I've been dreading yesterday, because I knew it was going to be rough on her...but I had no idea how rough it was going to be on me, as well. I've never been the kind of mom that worries about back to school time. I don't overly miss or worry about my kids when they are gone. (If I want to be perfectly honest, by the time school time rolls around I am so sick of summer that I'm half tempted to get them ready a couple days early and just tell them to walk reaaalllly sloooowwww...) ;)

I honestly didn't think I would have a problem with Peanut going to school, either. I know she is my baby and is the last one, but I really thought I'd be okay...

Boy...was I wrong.

I dropped her off at dance class (dance is from 11-12 and then preschool is from 12:30-3:00...couldn't have cut that closer, could I?), came home and just sat. The house was so quiet and I was so worried about how she was doing. I knew she was scared being left alone, and I felt horrible, like I had let her down by leaving her. I walked past the couch and saw her baby, all alone on the couch and that's when I burst into tears. Her baby was abandoned...just like I had abandoned her. (Of course I knew that I didn't really abandon her, but in my state, that's what it felt like!)

Say it with me: "E-mo-tion-al-wreck".

Thankfully, I pulled it together by the time I went to pick her up. She ran across the dance floor, piggy tails bouncing, with a big smile on her face and gave me a gigantic hug. I melted into that little girl's arms, relieved that she was okay and we skipped across the parking lot.

She quickly came home, got in her new school clothes and went to preschool happily...with no tears!

Shockingly...her momma also held it together for the rest of the day.

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