"If we expect our children to always grow smoothly and steadily and happily,
then we're going to worry a lot more than if we are comfortable with the fact
that human growth is full of slides backward as well as leaps forward, and is
sure to include times of withdrawal, opposition, and anger, just as it encompasses
tears as well as laughter."
After meeting with her therapist today, I feel like I'm doing something right, as I plod along this journey. Her therapist was happy to hear that we are doing a daily allowance, rather than paying once a week, because the instant gratification is so much more rewarding for her. Additionally, she agreed with our limiting television from 9 am - 7 pm, but wondered if part of Avery's sleep issues were simply her wanting to watch TV in the middle of the night. So, we will be setting the TV parental system to lock at night, so that won't even be an option.
We know that being out of school is a huge change for her and we all agreed that part of these new behavioral issues are due to the change. She suggested that we do a "sticker chart" or something similar to reward for good behavior, just like they do at school and see if that works for her. I am willing to try anything at this point!
While the violence is not okay and will not be tolerated, we know that it is due to an inability to control her impulses, rather than her plotting to do something that will hurt someone else. This is a "good" thing. She is not trying to hurt other people, rather she just lacks the ability to control herself during her times of anger. I hope to address this a little more during her one-on-one therapy session on Thursday.
So, at the conclusion of today's meeting it has been decided to up her dosage on the Trazadone again. We begin this journey at 25 mg, upped to 50 mg and will now try 75 mg to see how it does. I know this medication can work...we have seen it. Finding the right dosage for a growing girl however, does appear that it will take some time.
I know she is going to have these setbacks. I know that a pill will not make Avery an "easy" child, by any means. I know that I will continue to worry about her future and how she interacts with those around her. I also just have to remember that every slide back is a key to finding what will work for her best. We have to run these hurdles in order to grow stronger and find our finish line. Wherever that finish line may be.