Thursday, April 19, 2012

I've Processed It

Now that I've had two weeks to process the news that I have been accepted into nursing school...I'm doing okay. I'm preparing by tackling the massive "to-do" list WSU sent me to take care of this summer. I've already enrolled in fall classes. I've ordered my scrubs. I've filled out all the paperwork that I can. I still need to deal with immunizations, fingerprints, drug tests and a FBI background check...but that will come.

I'm finishing up my classes for this semester and it is bittersweet. My final days of being an Aggie at Utah State University are drawing close. I've met some wonderful people. I've made some great friends. I've had some inspiring teachers. I've taken some good classes...and some crappy ones. I've been through a lot in my time as a student there.

December 4, 2007 is the day my life changed. That was the day that I decided to go back to school and registered for my first classes, for the Spring 2008 semester. I had no idea then, how long the road would be.

Or how much I would go through.

Spring Semester 2008 - I would lose Carter and have a D & C...and then have to sit through my nutrition class as we discussed how important folic acid is during pregnancy, while watching slides showing pictures of a healthy, growing fetus. I left class that week, in tears. I had custody of my niece at the time and had two children have surgery.

Summer Semester 2008 - I would discover I was pregnant again! I would spend the next few months terrified to fall in love with a baby that I may never get to hold.

Fall Semester 2008 - 29 weeks along, on the way to math class, I would go into labor for the first time. After bedrest for a month, our Peanut would be born miraculously healthy and perfect, at 33 weeks. I would have to withdraw from classes, to finish them in the Spring.

Spring Semester 2009 - I juggled a newborn and classes...with the knowledge that Mom's time on Earth was getting shorter.

Summer Semester 2009 - Mom passed away. Forever changing my life, Josh's life and our children's lives. Dad remarries. Forever changing our lives.

Fall Semester 2009 - A lot of firsts happening...without Mom here. It was a hard, hard road. Josh got laid off and we panic, wondering how we will survive, a family of seven, with only my small income. I take physiology from an "awesome" (read my dripping sarcasm??) professor who warns us that only pre-med students get A's on his tests. Great. 1. I wasn't pre-med. 2. HE made ME explain the menstruation cycle to the class because HE didn't understand it...but I couldn't get an A??? I'm proud of that B+.

Spring Semester 2010 - I take anatomy (the same "awesome" prof taught THIS class, too!) and had to do a cadaver lab. It wasn't even a year after burying Mom and it was hard. Really hard. I walked out the first day, in tears. After a year of many, many, many students complaining, the dean finally lets this professor go. Sadly, it was before he gives me the A I deserve and I have to learn to live with my A-. We decide that in the fall...Josh will go back to school too. Oy vey.

Fall 2010 - My migraines go haywire and I have twelve of them in 52 days. I have a constant headache. I can barely function. My life feels like it is falling apart. I finally get on Topomax after weeks and weeks of tests (and a week long scare that I may have multiple sclerosis)...and begin living with the side effects. This is while we're trying to deal with Josh's first semester of classes and figuring out how to pay bills, since we both have missed so much work due to my head.

Spring 2011 - I retake my history class that was on my transcripts from high school, just to up the grade and my GPA. *gag* I hate history. However...something good also the end of this semester I graduate, with honors. I receive my Associates of Science degree and I'm able to walk the stage in front of family and friends...and my beautiful children.

Fall 2011 - I decide to begin pursuing a BS in Family Life Studies...not knowing if I would get accepted to nursing school on my first try, or not.

Spring 2012 - I take my CNA class, mail in my application packet and spend the next two months stressing and hoping and praying. I had done all that I could and my fate was now in the hands of people who I had never met.

Today - I sit here knowing that in a couple short years I will have fulfilled a decade long dream. It has taken me a long time to get to this point and it has been anything but easy. I have struggled through some of my lowest lows and celebrated some of my highest highs, since making the choice to go back to school, just over four years ago. It has been a long, hard road, filled with bumps, potholes, twists and turns. It has been filled with amazing memories, wonderful friends, supportive family and with the belief that when the going got tough...I got going. I did this. I earned this. Me. No one can ever take that away from me.  I've discovered a strength in myself that I never knew existed.

Bring it on, WSU. Let me show you what I'm made of! :)


Jawni said...

You are such an amazing, strong, ambitious, awesome woman! Reading the short version (very, very short version) of your trials helps me remember that life isn't always going to be easy, and that is OK! as long as you are doing everything you can! I feel honored just knowing you over the internet! Congrats on Nursing school btw!

Christy said...

You're a rockstar Leeann.

McKell Anderson said...

I loved this post... even when life has thrown you curves and I mean some big ones, you have persevered. Well done and I agree, bring it on WSU. You have what it takes, plus some <3

Lacey Sue said...

You, are my friggin' hero woman!