Thursday, October 13, 2011

So, Now What?

I'm feeling a wee bit stressed. Just a wee bit.

(If you define "wee bit" as "the feeling of 10,000 lbs of pressure weighing on your shoulders, crushing your will to live...")

Getting into nursing school is beginning to be more of a challenge than I had originally planned on. I knew the criteria would be tough. I knew the chance of getting in on the first shot would be near impossible. I knew that I would be feeling the pressure as things came down to the wire.

I did not know that I would end up feeling like it would be easier for me to capture a unicorn, than to gain admittance into my first or second choice schools.

This week alone, I found out (for'd always been a rumor), that my first choice school only accepts 20 applicants from my University, every two years. Only 20. I can name five people, off the top of my head, applying from my location. Never mind the main campus or dozen other regional campuses. Additionally, I'm hearing some complaints about this school now, that students aren't feeling as prepared for state testing as they should. Then, as added icing on the cake, my second choice school froze their nursing program in Utah. However, I could relocate to one of their programs in California, Texas, Florida or Indiana.

I'm not alone. One of my good friends, Michele, is feeling my pain as well. Here in Utah there are seven schools that offer a nursing program, as she points out on her blog. If I relocated to Texas, I'm sure I could walk into my choice of nursing schools, because they have 75 schools available.

So, now what? Do I finish out my Bachelors degree and relocate my family? Do I change my major entirely? I know ultimately, that last choice will make me miserable. I'm meant to be a nurse. I'm meant to help people and be with people during some of the most life changing times of their lives. It's my passion in life. It's my calling, if you will. Nothing else would make me as happy. Perhaps one day I would love to become a midwife, but I can barely stomach the thought of the time and energy nursing school will take. I can't even begin to grasp the idea of midwifery school.

I know, I know...everything will work out the way it is supposed to. I believe that, too. I just wish that I could see the ending, so I don't waste my time, energy and money on unnecessary detours down this path.


Casey said...

Dixie State has a nursing program. I know some totally awesome people in St George!!!!!!!!!!!

Michele B. said...

~ "Do not trouble your hearts over much with thoughts of the road ahead. Maybe the paths that you each shall tread are already laid before your feet, even though you do not see them".....J.R.R Tolkien

I received this quote yesterday from a text from a friend and then I saw it online while browsing the internet.

Like you I believe life will take me where it is supposed to, I just wish I could see it a little easier but as we all know life is not easy and the future is not given to us in a crystal ball.

I watch other students in class and see that this is their second or third time retaking a class, they are young and carefree..I don't have that luxury...I don't have time to be retaking classes, and I am not young, and carefree left when the twins were born... and all this manifests into stress and as you said "paranoia" of the future.

I will keep looking ahead and hope it all turns out the way I want it to but I also am trying to figure out that alternative road that maybe was my path in the first place and I just didn't know it.