Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Epiphany

So, every time I do a post about how much of a failure I feel like I am, it never fails that:

A.) I end up having a pretty fabulous day after that. (Sometimes I think I just need to vent my frustration.)

and

B.) I receive quite a few nice comments and/or messages and/or texts telling me I'm stronger than I think I am or I'm not alone and all mothers feel like this.

First of all, thank you, to those of you who take the time to comment. It really does make my day better and it really does make me feel like less of a deficiency in the human race.

Secondly, it made me have an epiphany today. Most of the stress I put on myself, is because I look around at everyone else and wonder why they have it all together and I don't.  Other people's yards are always perfectly manicured with no evidence that children live there...meanwhile you'd be hard pressed to drive by my house and not find bikes, skateboards, a random Rubbermaid container (or seven), filled with sand, rocks and potato bug habitats, lounging around. Other people's kids are always perfectly groomed...while my kids always seemed to be mismatched with a random dress-up costume on and their once nicely combed hair, now falling out of their ponytails. Other people's houses always seem spotless and shiny and clean...while mine always has hand prints on the walls, a forgotten cereal bowl on the table, legos hiding, waiting to bite your bare feet and at least half the rooms have unmade beds. Other moms always have nice, ironed clothes on, their hair and make-up done, their 20 mile run out of the way for the day (because they don't need sleep and got up at 3 am)...while I show up in jeans and a shirt, my hair in a messy bun and I maybe brushed my teeth. Other people have husbands that work 9-5 jobs, so they have wonderful 5-star dinners every night, all seated around the dinner table with their well-behaved children, where they discuss their day with laughter...meanwhile, Josh works crazy hours, so half the time he isn't here for dinner and the kids eat, while I eat standing up, cleaning the kitchen, fetching them milk and correcting their math homework.

Well, guess what? According to all the people that tell me I'm not alone....my perception of other people's lives is a tad...off. As such, my reasons for stress and thinking that I don't measure up to some pedestal that I've placed the rest of the world on...don't exist.

I've got to learn to let them go.

I've got to learn to nod to the other tired moms, loading their screaming kids into their mini-vans at the grocery store and give them a mental high-five. I've got to learn to stop comparing myself to a family out there, that just doesn't exist and know that most households struggle, like mine. No one has this figured out and we all have bad days.

As for the moms out there that ARE perfect and have the perfect children and the perfect husband and the perfect yard and the perfect marriage and the perfect life...well...you're obviously bionic.

Or lying to yourself.

So stop being so uptight.

3 comments:

Brittney said...

HHHHMMMM.... You are the mother that I have always compared myself to and thought you were perfect. So that person you were describing I thought was you, such a relief that you are the person you are. I love you Leeann and those little faces are amazing. Your kids are so smart and I love them to pieces. Thanks for this post, maybe I won't clean the handprints off my wall today.

Lacey Sue said...

As Keysha once said to me, "We see the "Dressed up, cleaned up" version of people. When in reality- they are as crazy, hectic, messed up, and loony as we are. I wish I had HALF of my crap together. I fail every other step at something a SAHM should have undercontrol. But you know what? I am me, I am the best wife and mother I can be. My life isn't sparkly clean or tidy or even heck MATCHING, but it's my life and I am not going to stress it. I enjoy it. Cause it's a gift from God.

Andrea said...

LOVE it!
xoxo