Thursday, May 19, 2011
Two Years Without Mom
I love my children, more than life itself. I hate to see them cry and I hate to know that they are hurting. It's hard, two years later, when they still have times that they cry for their Grandma.
It will be at random times, that catch me completely off guard. Every time I think that healing has begun, a moment like this happens and it's like having the wound reopened; fresh and raw. "Time heals all wounds", is a HUGE. LIE.
As the children get older, instead of healing, personally, I am feeling her void, more and more. Instead of calling to tell her that a baby took their first steps, I want to call and tell her Luke learned to ride a 2-wheeler in 30 seconds. Instead of calling to tell her that a baby likes their first bite of baby food, I want to call and tell her about a boy that likes my daughter. Instead of calling to tell her how a toddler learned their colors, I want to call and tell her that Avery is reading everything now. She was here for so many of their "baby" things, but she is missing out on so much of their amazing childhood.
Mom...I love you. I miss your smile and your laugh. Oh, how I miss your laugh. I miss your silly stories, that you usually forgot the ending to, by the time you got there. I miss your hugs, every time we would part. I miss how very important my children were to you and how you always let them know it. Please, please watch over them. I need you to keep them safe. Please watch over Josh and I. We are raising these amazing children and working hard to reach our goals. We want you to be proud of who we are. I can't wait to see your beautiful face again and feel your arms around me.