What is it, about a door shutting, that makes all the children of my genetic lineage, come RUNNING?
Do they think that if I'm alone for even 5 minutes, I will suddenly develop parental amnesia and forget that they exist? Not possible.
You know why?
BECAUSE I'M NEVER ALONE FOR 5 MINUTES!!
The second my bedroom door shuts so that I can, I dunno...get dressed...or the bathroom door shuts so I can...perhaps...brush my teeth...it's like a stampede.
*BANG! BANG! BANG!*
"MOM!? MOM?! ARE YOU IN THERE? WHEN ARE YOU COMING OUT???"
THIS is why Moms of America wear pajama pants to Wal-mart, people. It's not because they've let themselves go. Oh, no! It's because they are never allowed 5 minutes to groom themselves, without fingers reaching under the door, like some sadistic sci-fi movie!
They've given up trying to ready themselves, because the entire time they are just yelling, "CAREFUL! The flat iron is HOT!" or "PLEASE! Don't use my toothbrush on the cat!" or "REALLY?!?! My mascara??? IN. THE. TOILET?? AGAIN???!"
So, stop judging.
Although, I will say...the ones that are wearing their slippers, too...have at them. I have no excuse for them.