Friday, April 30, 2010

Because I Want To! *jumps up and down*

Alright, after yesterday's complaining post, I feel the need to follow it up with a positive post. Gotta equal out my karma, right? ;) So, a list of all the things that went right yesterday!

The first and bestestestest (my own word...don't judge...) thing that happened was that I filled out my application for graduation! Wahoo! Go me! I will graduate Fall 2010 with my Associates of Science degree. Holy long time coming...but that's another post.

We got our papers gathered up for the refinance we are attempting to do on our home. If all goes well and the planets align, we should be saving about $200 a month after this. That might not be a lot to some people, but it sure will help around here! We were able to find all the papers we needed with ease (and you people make fun of my organization obsession!) and faxed them off.

While gathering the papers for the refi, we discovered that Josh has been being paid the wrong amount for a couple months! Because he works night shift, he should be making just a little extra per hour, to sweeten the crappy 6 pm - 6 am shift. Well...he hasn't been being paid that amount. So, hopefully that means that his work is going to be cutting us a check for the shortage. Again, not a huge amount...but money nonetheless.

Bailey actually did all her chores and homework, without a fight. Actually...without even being asked! Her maturity level seems to be changing every day!

I applied for my financial aid for next school year and it's looking like I may be getting some substantial Pell Grants. That would be a-maz-ing and help out a ton. I already owe a bazillion dollars in student loans, so any semester that I can avoid adding to it, is a bonus!

Luke behaved all day long and Avery fell asleep at 6 pm. Consistent followers of my blog, or those who actually know us, know how awesome that is.

I am caught up on work! I get so overwhelmed that I'm often up till 2 am finishing up reports. I actually had time to do my last pathophysiology test, in peace. On to finals, my friends!! :)

Presley's little vocabulary made me giggle all day long. I know that most of what she said is only easily understood by those of us with her every day, but I am LOVING all the new words! She actually argued with me over whether our new cat was a cat...or a puppy. I would call Kiki (the cat) a cat and she would say, "Noooo! It's puppy!". I also told her that her dinner was coming and she said, "Is it done?". I took her diaper off for her bath and she shook her little naked bum, chanting, "Not poopy! Not poopy!" She is also following more and more simple commands and I get such joy out of seeing her comprehension grow.

Ryleigh got jumped up to chapter books. They just completely skipped her out of the colored reading books that 1st graders typically read. That girl of mine is just so darn smart!!! I'm so happy that she has such a love of learning.

Josh applied for school and for federal aid. Here's hoping they take pity on the two crazy parents, with five kids, who think that both of them going to school at the same time, is a good idea. Chant it with me, people: "GRAAAANTS! GRAAAANTS!"

No one got hurt, sick, electrocuted, hit by a car, fell down the stairs (except on purpose...they like riding down on cookie sheets. Bad mommy, I know.) or abducted by aliens. It was a great day! :)

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Because I Want To! *stamps foot*

I'm going to complain today. Why? Because I want to. Venting is good... better than holding it in... and it's better to vent on here, than in real life.

Define "awesome" (sarcastic version). "Awesome" is me showing up at the elementary school early today (I was bringing our new cat for show and tell to the girls' classrooms) and finding one of the teachers sitting at her desk, texting. *sigh* Now, I know that sometimes things happen and you just can't resist touching your phone...however, my kiddo talks about this a lot and I know I didn't happen in on a one time thing. Couple that with numerous other issues I have and I'm not a happy momma. I wish I would have pulled her from this class at the beginning of the year, when my gut told me to.

I'm changing some comment options on my blog, today, thanks to the ****** bags that keep leaving links to porn sites on my mother in law's obituary post. I've dealt with it for almost a year and I won't any longer. So, comment moderation is in effect for posts over 14 days old and captcha words are now required when you comment. Save me from the spam!!!

Why do some women become mothers? Honestly. *HIGH FIVE* to all the hard working moms out there that sacrifice all that they have, love with all of their heart and truly do the best for their children. Motherhood is not a part-time gig and not a way to get attention. (Unless the attention you seek is never being able to pee alone... I get a lot of that kind of attention.) Grow up. Start putting your child(ren) first and stop thinking about yourself. There is no excuse for putting them in danger, for your own selfish reasons.

When will the dog stop shedding? AAAHHHH. My poor vacuum is going to go on strike soon. I can't keep up with the mounds of dog hair laying around. It looks like I have a carpet...on top of my carpet!! I already vacuum twice a day...please don't make me do it more!

If my professor isn't fired at the end of this semester, I'm going to flip out. This man is such a PITA. He doesn't show up for tests (it costs too much money for him to drive...TO HIS JOB), he never knows the answer if you ask a question in class, he has given out the wrong information in class more than once and he's got a superiority complex like I've never dealt with before. Seriously, USU, if you haven't taken our complaints into consideration, I will lose all respect for you as a University. I pay a good amount of money to be taught. Not to be read to like a child and be laughed at when I fail. Professors are supposed to be there to help me succeed, not to find pleasure in making my school journey a living hell.

Josh, I love you, man. I really do. But for the umpteenth time...please stop feeding the kids candy before dinner. Your little butt gets to traipse off to work, while I deal with sugar-crazed kids, who won't eat. Thankyouverymuch.

*breaths sigh of relief* Thanks for your time. I feel better already.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Possible Titles For My Memoirs

"Are You There God? It's Me, Leeann. Please Make The Whining Stop"

"Your Kid Is An Honor Student? My Kids Make Messes."

"If You Give A Kid A Cookie, He'll Spread Crumbs All Over The Couch"

"My Kids Make Me Crazy: From Breaking Dawn To Twilight"

"Diary Of A Tired Mom"

"Leeann and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week"

"Are You My Children?"

"The Good, The Bad and The Legally Insane"

"Crazy and Crazier"

"Deliverance: Epidural, Natural & Emergency Cesarean"

"The Luckiest Girl In The World"

Monday, April 26, 2010

Just When You Think...

...that we aren't crazy enough...

Josh and I have been discussing him going to school next year.

He could start getting some of his classes under his belt, while I have a somewhat easier school year. Then, he would have to put things on hold during nursing school, only taking classes during the summer, when I'm off. He's pretty sure his place of employment will pay for it, so that will help tremendously.

He hates the thought of not starting school until after I'm done and then not graduating till he's 40. Which, I completely understand. Better late than never...but why not earlier?

So, pray for us. It's quite possible that we have both lost our ever-lovin' minds...

Sunday, April 25, 2010

How I Clean My House

- Decide that enough is enough and we are spending the day cleaning up.
- Tell each child that they are responsible for their rooms and they "better get it done in a timely manner!"
- Clean the living room and dust...quickly realizing that "someone" hasn't been doing their dusting chore.
- Find the kids playing around and sternly remind them that their rooms need to be done.
- Vacuum the living room, then empty the vacuum canister. Funny, for a dog that we were assured doesn't shed...he sure loses a lot of hair...
- Become distracted and pay the bills. Surprisingly, it does not end in tears.
- Ryleigh is done cleaning her room and helped Luke finish his...big shocker. Bailey is laying on her floor and Avery is coloring...big shocker. "CLEAN YOUR ROOMS!!!"
- Dust the front room and throw away one folder, two lip glosses and one doll, left on my shelves. If I've told them once, I've told them a million times...leave your stuff laying around and it'll disappear.
- Finish the entire main floor and feed the kids who are done with their cleaning, a snack.
- Head upstairs to clean my room and discover that Ryleigh has picked up my bathroom and made my bed...without being asked...big shocker. "THANKS, RYLEIGH ROO!!"
- Decide to Lime-A-Way my garden tub...without wearing gloves. I walk on the wild side.
- For the thousandth time: "Mom! She hit me!" ... "You are both staying down there until your rooms and bathroom are done! I don't want to hear from you again!!!"
- Clean my closet and discover all sorts of treasures. Why the kids play in my closet, is beyond me.
- Scream, once again, that I will not be serving Bay and Avery dinner until their cleaning is done. It has been 3 hours now and I'm beyond frustrated.
- Realize that my windows are open and pray that my neighbors don't call DCFS. I really don't starve my kids.
- Finish cleaning the upstairs, thoroughly happy that I've discovered Presley's stash of bottles and sippy cups, under her bed. *gag*
- It's now been five hours and a survey of the basement indicates that Bailey and Avery have not done a thing. Dad takes over the "They Won't Clean Their Rooms" war.
- I go upstairs to revel in my clean room and shower...only to discover that the cat has had...uh... "sickness"... all over my clean comforter. Sigh.
- After gagging and cleaning it up...I finally get a shower.
- I come down to the kitchen to find yogurt on my couch and entertainment center. Ten minutes. I was only up there for ten minutes!!
- Six hours, a hundred screaming fits and a thousand temper tantrums later...the basement is finally clean.
- I collapse on the couch, wishing it was their bedtime. Think they'd suspect anything if I changed the clocks ahead two hours?

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Forgive...But Don't Forget

Josh and I have been through a lot, these past couple years. We have basically been to hell and back, in our relationship. If you would have asked me a year ago, where we would be today, I would have told you separated, or in the middle of a divorce.

Not many people knew how bad things were. Even those people that thought they "knew"...really had no idea. We had grown so far seemed like there was no way back.

Today, we are so amazed with how different our relationship is. The past has been forgiven. All of the hurtful words and space that was between gone. It's like the old relationship ended and we are beginning a new one. We have each other's best interests at heart and any problems we have now, are quickly diffused.

Our relationship has never been this good and I am so thankful for that. Our lives are quite stressful and knowing that we have each other to fall back on, is such a blessing. We are both so happy and it has definitely trickled down to our children.

Knowing that we have really forgiven each other for past mistakes, removes such a burden from our lives. We have forgiven...but, we will never forget where we were. It will always serve as a reminder of where we never want to be, again.

Friday, April 16, 2010

May God Have Mercy On My Soul

I watched a 20/20 documentary on the life of Somer Thompson. She was a 7 year old girl from Florida, that was abducted and murdered, walking home from school.

The investigative reporters talked about how in Florida and 22 other states, sex offenders can live within 1000 ft of a school. This infuriates me and hits home.

Our home is in the "walking boundaries" for the local elementary school. We live within a mile and as such, there is no bus option for them. I can either allow them to walk, or add to the chaos and confusion in the "parent pick-up" zone.

What makes me so incredibly angry is that in order for my children to walk to/from school, they must pass three... yes, THREE... registered sex offenders. Are these sex offenders stupid 20-something men who made a play for a 17 year old girl? No. These sex offenders are the low down, dirty scum who prey on innocent, tiny little girls.

When will society realize that in "protecting" the rights of these disgusting offenders, that they are placing my babies at risk???

So, instead of allowing my children to walk to/from school the way they are told they have to, due to the walking boundaries, I only allow it if they are in a group. Josh or I stand at the end of the road and watch them pass the houses that these perverts live in.

I hate that I live in a world where I have to worry about these things. I hate that I live in a world where the past contains violations that make Josh and I incredibly paranoid, about who our children come into contact with. I hate that I live in a world that coddles these offenders, without giving any regard to my children.

Heaven help anyone that ever attempts to hurt my children. They better pray that they are arrested and have the police protecting them. If I ever found them...may God have mercy on my soul...

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Put Me In My Place

I have a friend.

I have a friend that puts me in my place...and she doesn't even know it.

My days are chaotic. I love my kids, but they make me crazy. From the moment they get up (sometimes at 4 in the morning...), until the time that they go to bed (2 hours after I sent them there, the first time...), them make me nuts.

The fighting. The yelling. The whining. The mess making. The half eaten yogurt containers on the table. The spilled milk on the kitchen floor. The tents made out of blankets, that never get put away. The missing shoes. The back talk. The Barbie toys in the vacuum. The temper tantrums. The "Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom. MOM!!!". The bikes all over the yard (and up the street). The lost game pieces. The forgotten chores. The toys on the stairs. The crying for no reason. The boogers wiped on the couch (someone is doing it!). The "She hit me!". The dirty hand prints on the walls, going upstairs. The toys left in my tub. The missing last cheese stick. The seven outfits a day.

They. Can. Make. Me. Nuts.

Then I think of my friend. My friend, who has no kids of her own...but desperately wants them. My friend, who would love the chance to experience all the things that make me crazy. My friend, who would give anything to have the life...that I sometimes take for granted. My friend, who deserves to experience it all.

The baby kisses. The smiles. The hugs. The laughs. The notes slipped under my bedroom door. The "I love Mommy" pictures hanging on my fridge. The belly laughs. The joy of seeing them help each other. The girly giggles. The first time they read a word. The cuddles. The "secrets" whispered in my ear. The knock-knock jokes that don't make sense. The "Mommy, I love you", said for no reason. The questions they ask, that make you realize how smart they are. The crazy outfits 4 year olds come up with. The popcorn fights. The pillow fights. The first time they ride a two wheeler. The first 100 on a spelling test. The "flowers" (weeds), clutched in dirty hands, offered as a present. The bedtime snuggles.

Yup. My friend puts me in my place.

What a wonderful, beautiful, imperfect place, it is.

Monday, April 12, 2010

It Makes Sense To Me

For a little while...
I forgot.

you helped me to remember.

Sometimes, even now...
I forget.

you always help me to remember.

"Thank you" and "I love you"...
will never be enough...
for helping me to remember.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Four Weeks... and Counting

Another semester is coming to a close and I can't believe it. I look back at all the weeks/months that I've completed and all that I've accomplished, and think, "Woah! That went so fast!". But, then I look ahead and think, "Ugh! I still have that much longer to go?!?"

These classes have been harder than anything I've done in the past. I've always been pretty lucky, in that I don't have to study much for my grades. I've never been one to spend hours and hours going over my assignments or lectures. This semester has been completely different. I have spent hours upon hours, studying for these classes. It has definitely given me a small taste of what nursing school is going to be like...and that terrifies me!

How in the world am I going to swing more than this? I'm constantly ripped and pulled in every direction. Seeing my daughter cry, because I can't go to a Mommy/Daughter thing at church, because I have to be at a cadaver lab...breaks my heart. How am I (and how are they) going to handle more of "I can't right now, I'm sorry" and "Mommy needs to study" and "I can't...I have school"?

I get so behind on my work, that I'm working until midnight. Or one. Or two. Which makes that seven o'clock alarm even more painful. Something is going to have to change over this next year, because trying to juggle my busy family, job and school is going to become even harder. I'll be doubling my school work load, plus adding a day of clinicals each week.

I know other people have survived this. I'm sure some have survived it with harder life situations. I just hope that I can gather every bit of strength left in me and persevere. I hope that those around me can hold on to enough patience, to deal with me.

Heaven knows...I couldn't do it without any of you.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Fees, Taxes and Surcharges...Oh, My!

When I got our new cell phone bill today I wasn't really shocked at all the extra fees...but, holy crap! These extra surcharges on phone bills are getting out of hand!

Federal-Univ Serv Assess Non-LD $2.37
Utah State-Univ Ser Assessment $0.12
Grantsville City-Gross Receipts Tax $2.42
Administrative Charge $1.98
Regulatory Charge $0.80
Utah State-911 Tax $0.16
Utah State-Poison Control Charge $0.14
Utah State-Sales Tax $4.09
Tooele County-Sales Tax $0.21
Grantsville City-911 Tax $1.22
Grantsville City-Sales Tax $1.12


I wonder if I could start charging strange little fees (some of which that don't make any sense), to various people in my life?

Tooele County-Diaper Changes $2.25
Out of County-Diaper Changes $2.75
BS Charge $3.77
YFAM Tax $4.25
Housekeeper Tax $1.18
Homework Assessment $0.75
Dealing With Junkmail Annoyance Fee $1.08
Grantsville-Whining Tax $2.25
Tooele County-Whining Tax $0.98
Utah State-Whining Tax $3.45
Laundry-Non-Stained $0.80

That's only just the beginning of the asinine charges I could come up with.
Sigh...I'd be a millionaire.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Ancient Life...And Modern Stitches

We visited the Ancient Life Museum last Friday. Josh and I bought a family membership there, so we'll be visiting a lot over the next year. There is so much to see and do...the kids love it!

The kids were in a great mood and were so excited to go. It had been a couple years since we had gone last, so I was most excited to see Luke and Presley enjoy it. Luke was just a baby last time and Pres wasn't born yet.

Kids checking out the lab where the paleontologists prep the bones.
Crawling through a cave.
My smiley girls.
Playing at the erosion table.

Even Pres got in on the action...until she kept trying to eat the sand.

Pres was giggling and gasping the whole way through. I loved it!!
She's barely as big as this dino's foot!
So cute!
I took this picture. It's cute, right? It looks like the shark is eating funny. RIGHT after I snapped this photo, Avery lost her balance, fell back and smacked her head on that hard, concrete rock at their feet (see how she's the only one without her feet planted?). Josh ran to her and immediately saw blood on the rock. He scooped her up and by then the blood was running out of her hair and down her neck. He applied pressure and took off running with her, while I gathered up the rest of the kids.

After I got Pres buckled in her stroller, we sped through the rest of the museum, missing the archaeological dig area that Luke had been looking forward to, all day. (Side note: Typically not getting what he wanted would send Luke into a frenzy - typical 3 year old - but he knew how badly Avery was hurt and it didn't even phase him. I'm loving the maturity I see developing.) I sent Luke into the men's room and he came back, reporting that Daddy and Avery were in there.

When Josh came out, I started to ask how bad it was...and then saw the blood all over his shirt and the back of Avery's. He was still applying pressure with some paper towels and it was still bleeding.

I looked up the closest urgent care (thank you, new cell phones that have internet!!!) and after stopping for some ice, we had her there within 10 minutes. They wanted to refer her to the ER, since it was a head injury. That kind of irritated was obvious she was okay...she just needed some stitches. She was walking and talking fine, her gaze was normal and steady and her pupils were the same size. Buuut...that's just wanna-be-nurse-Mommy talking.

After a call to Primary Children's Hospital, the doc stated that a CT scan wouldn't be necessary. There was no indication of brain trauma and exposing a child so little, to so much radiation, had more cost, than benefit. The docs at Primary's told the local doc that it's been shown to raise the child's risk of cancer, later in life. Well...our family hears the "C" word and our hackles raise we were more than happy to just have the stitches done.

She was a MAJOR trooper. The doc and nurse both said that she was the bravest person they've ever done stitches on...child or adult. No big shocker there...she is Avery, after all. :)

On the drive home, it made me smile as I heard Luke tell her..."Avery, next time we go there I'm gonna put my hand behind your head, so that you don't fall."

I love those tender moments.

Sunday, April 4, 2010


That silly Easter bunny! He left the kids some Sunday clothes, chocolate, bubbles and gum...and then covered the main floor in hidden eggs and loose candy! Some tired, but happy hunters. Bailey Boo Ryleigh Roo
My beautiful kids!

No more kisses!

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Pre-Easter Fun

Today was our town's Easter egg hunt. We did it last year and this year was just as fun. I adore living in a small town, for reasons such as this. They plan it so well and it is always so much fun.
It kind of broke my heart when Bay said, "Mom? Grandma would have been here with us today, huh?" Yeah, baby, she would have been.Bay was in the 7-9 category. She kept saying that some of the kids looked too big. Well, darling, Mommy thinks you are beginning to look too big...
Ry and Avery were in the same age category. These two are becoming so close.
Luke is my little clown. He was in the same age category as Pres and was very careful with the younger kids. He made sure to be gentle and made sure Pres got some treats (after getting himself a lollipop the size of his head, that is...) Silly Presley! She got a couple eggs, but once she saw the loose candy she was content to sit and eat it. Wrapper and all. ;)
Creepy Easter LOL

I always love being a Mommy...(okay...most of the time)...but it's days like today that I really appreciate. Seeing my children laugh and run and smile...that's priceless.

Sweet Child O' Mine

Two years ago today, was one of the worst days in my life. I'll never forget the range of emotions I went through. From the happiest the saddest sad. From crying tears of crying tears of heartache. From planning a planning a surgery.

One day, my precious Little One,
You’ll take me by the hand.
I hope that you will hold me close
and help me understand.
You’ll explain why I was chosen,
To miss out on your birth.
Why I was picked to be your Mom,
But never here on Earth.

One day, my cherished Little One,
I’ll take you by the hand.
I promise I will hold you close,
And help you understand.
That you were very wanted here;
I looked forward to your birth.
Yes, you are my chosen child,
But too special for this Earth.
-Leeann Garrard 2008-