Sunday, January 31, 2010

Week Four of Eight

Week four was a big bust.
My ankle that has been bothering me, is now killing me. I tried to run - made it a mile and had to finish on the elliptical. That was dumb, I should have just walked away.
Now? I'm icing and heating my ankle and it's wrapped all day. It's not so much bearing weight on it that hurts, but the movement.
So...now I've lost this week and most likely losing next week, too, as I ease back into everything. I'm so frustrated. I've worked hard to get where I am and I feel like I'm going to lose it all.
I didn't lose an weight this week, because I basically gave up on my eating every 2 hours. It's not that I ate too much...I actually ate less. I was skipping meals and since my body is used to eating so often, it didn't like it very much.
But...tomorrow is another day.
*sigh*

Friday, January 29, 2010

Random Lessons I've Learned

- A person can care for someone else or a situation, too much. When it begins affecting you negatively, perhaps it's time to reevaluate and back away.

- The sound of a baby's giggle never fails to make me smile.

- Some people can come into your life (or come back into your life) and make you think, "How in the world was I living without you?"

- Love isn't perfect. It's not always happy and bubbly and exciting and "butterflies in your belly". Sometimes, love is collapsing on the couch at the end of the day, watching a sitcom, not saying a thing...and being content.

- Inside jokes can make you laugh every time, as much as the first time. ("TENDON!" "I'm fuzzy!" "It was THIS BIG!")

- Never assume anything. Nine times out of ten...you're gonna be wrong.

- A vacuum is not meant to clean up play-doh.

- Hitting "refresh" excessively, is not going to make that email appear any faster.

- I really do wish it was possible to fulfill the saying, "Walk a mile in their shoes.". What a learning experience that would be. For everyone.

- I really have to stop over thinking things. Sometimes things really just...are. No need to over analyze it.

- Sometimes the best thing that I can do when the kids are being naughty and driving me crazy...is to give them a hug.

- Sometimes the best thing anyone can do when I'm driving them crazy...is to give me a hug. A hug grounds you. It lets you lean on someone else for a minute and just...be.

- Take a few minutes each day to do nothing, other than watch your kids play. Their enthusiasm, conversations and imaginations will never fail to make you laugh.

- Treasure the friends that you may not see very often...but that feel like "home", every time that you see them.


- Smiling is better than crying and happiness is better than sadness...but you can't appreciate either, without experiencing the other.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Presley's Sixth Letter To Grandma

Dear Grandma,

Happy Birthday! Today, we should be celebrating your 49th birthday, but lucky you...you're hanging out with the angels! I bet "Happy Birthday" played on harps is the most wonderful sound...

I took my first steps this week, Grandma! Mommy and Daddy were so excited! Mommy immediately went to call you...and then she remembered that you were gone. Silly Mommy...you already know! You were here holding my hand when I did it. Help me do it again, Grandma! Help me to be big and strong.

Bailey, Ryleigh, Avery and Luke still talk about you every day. They tell me all about you and all the things that you loved to do. I wish I could tell them that I know you, better than they do. I'm lucky to still be so little, that you come to visit me. Keep coming, Grandma. I promise that I won't tell your Heavenly secrets.

Do you even celebrate your birthday in Heaven, Grandma? I'm kind of thinking that you don't. What a sad day that must have been for Heavenly Father, the day that he had to let you leave. I bet that the day of your passing, is the day that you rejoice. What a beautiful day for you...you got to go home! It's hard though...you going home, meant leaving us all behind. Your happiness, is our sadness.

I love you, Grandma! Please keep watching over me and the rest of my family. They all miss you so much.

Love,
Presley

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Week Three of Eight

Well, one more week down. My hardest, yet.

I started out the week feeling stronger in my running, than I finished it...and that worries me. Thoughts of next week are scaring me. My mind is starting to play games with me and I've got to find a way to overcome it.

My body is starting to realize that what I'm doing is now routine and it's beginning to protest. My shin splints are flailing up, my knee is bugging me a bit and I have some strange feeling in my left ankle. But, all in all, not so bad. It's nothing that is going to stop me. My body just better realize that this is our new normal and it better keep up!

The quotes I used this week, are:

“If you only do what you know you can do- you never do very much.”

“We should be taught not to wait for inspiration to start a thing. Action always generates inspiration. Inspiration seldom generates action.”

“Whether you believe you can or believe you can't, you're probably right."

I lost another 3 lbs, bringing my total to 9 lbs in 3 weeks. Sure isn't as fast as I'd like...but this isn't The Biggest Loser and I can't devote my entire day to me. So...I'll take it! :)

Thursday, January 21, 2010

¡Ay, caramba!

Dear Life,

Feel free to give me a break now and then. Seriously...I can't handle much more crap. Trying to be Mommy, Wife, Student, Worker, Homemaker and Gym Rat is enough for me to handle right now...I don't need additional problems heaped on to my ever growing pile.

Love, Leeann

*sigh*

Luke's flood is finally dried up and all the blasted machines are out of my house. The insurance company failed to mention that we have to find our own contractor, so I'm on the hunt for a reliable and honest one. Yeah... We currently have a blanket shoved up in the hole in our ceiling, because FREEZING cold air is seeping in through the rafters. Redneck, much?

Josh is meeting with a surgeon next week, to have an inguinal hernia fixed. Poor guy is in some pain! Hopefully he won't have to be out of work long, because I don't think he qualifies for STD, yet.

We had a buyer for the big van (buyer #3!), who backed out at the last possible second. Oy. I'm so ready to be done with it. We spent money fixing a belt and putting in a new battery for them...only to have them not be able to get financing. Grr.

I know things will "calm" down...I just hope I can make it until that happens!

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Week Two of Eight

Well, another week is over and something has happened.
Come closer...I'll whisper it...
I've fallen in love with the gym.

I started out the week scared to death with how I was going to stick to my running program and by the end of the week I was surpassing what I should have been doing. (Naughty me.) I can't wait to move into next week's program and struggle...only to conquer it by the end of the week. That is such an awesome feeling.
The quotes I used for this week were:


"Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that is true strength."

"Only as high as I reach, can I grow,
only as far as I seek can I go,
only as deep as I look, can I see,
only as much as I dream, can I be."

"Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character."

We changed gyms this week. The old gym is 2 minutes away and the new gym is 10 minutes away. Sounds silly, except that the new gym is also $8 cheaper a month and it also includes 90 minutes of daycare a day, so Josh and I can work out together! I love that! We never had time for both of us to go to the gym, because one of us always had to stay home with the kids. Now I know they are being watched (we can even watch them in the playroom, while we're in the gym...gotta love cameras) and we can get in a good workout.

The new gym also has a basketball court, lap pool, cardio cinema, racquetball courts, spinning room and lots of classes. I tried out yoga this week and WOAH...I am still hurting!

So, all in all, not a bad week. I got in three runs and a yoga class...and lost 2 more lbs. Nothing dramatic...but a step in the right direction!

Friday, January 15, 2010

I'm Losing My Mind!!!

Luke's flood the other day has turned into a nightmare. Our house is unbearable right now. We tried calling the insurance company to see if they would cover a hotel, but they said no. Because the house still has running water and a working bathroom, it is considered live able. I'd love for one of them to come spend an hour here and tell me how much they like it.

They had to rip out the insulation and sheet rock above the sliding glass door. So, I have a lovely hole in my dining room ceiling.

They stabbed holes all over my dining room ceiling and down the hall toward the front room. Looks pretty, huh?

Molding has been torn off, the corner piece has been removed...oh yeah...the water went down into the wall, too.

Isn't that nice? If I'm going to have studs visible in my house all day, these aren't the kind of studs I would choose.

This is one of the two upstairs fans. Can you say LOUD??? It's so horrible and they are running 24 hours a day. One is in the hallway and in such an enclosed space, the sound is magnified to ridiculous proportions.
We now have five of these blowers on the main floor, as well as a dehumidifier that is 4 times the size of this. It makes it FREEZING on the main floor and is incredibly LOUD, as well. You can't even talk, unless you're standing right next to the person.
We also have three kids who can't sleep in their rooms, electrical cords running all over and exposed tack strips from the carpet, with a crawling baby...but apparently LIBERTY MUTUAL...who I've insured with for every house and car I've owned since I was 16 years old...doesn't consider that a hazard. Needless to say, I'll be finding a new insurance company that perhaps CARES about it's clients. We have never, ever filed a homeowner's claim before and I'm extremely disappointed in the way this is being handled.
Anyone have any recommendations?

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

'Cuz That's How I Roll

We don't do anything half way around here. It's full out and crazy...or it's not at all.

Noah's Luke's Ark
"Momma? Why is that light dripping?" *sigh*
Luke plugged the upstairs toilet on Saturday. That caused the toilet to overflow and by the time we knew about it, it had poured gallons and gallons of water all over the upstairs bathroom, into the hall and closet...through the floor and was coming out of the dining room light. In the time it took me to shut off the water and wrap a towel around the light, the dining room ceiling started leaking in 3 spots.
We now have a claim in with the insurance company and I'm betting we have a good 50 sq feet of sheet rock that needs to be replaced and some carpet.

School
My anatomy class is going to kill me. Yup, I'm pretty sure. I've only had one class and I already need to memorize every bone, bump, hole, groove and suture in the skull and spine. Did you know that even BUMPS have names? Yeah...neither did I.
I told my friend that it's making me want to bang my head against the wall, because I'm already so overwhelmed. He kindly pointed out that doing that would create new bumps, that I'd have to learn.
*sigh*
He has a point.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Week One of Eight

Well, my first week is over.
I went to the gym three times and ate all damn day every few hours. It sure was time consuming, but it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. I never really got hungry (except that I did wake up STARVING), and I never really got full.
Here is an example of what I ate in one day:

8:00 am: 1 C cream of wheat, 1 egg w/ 4 egg whites
10:00 am: 5 oz chicken breast, 3/4 C brown rice
Noon: Chicken fajita on carb control tortilla
2:00 pm: 4 oz tilapia, 1 C broccoli, 4 asparagus spears
4:30 pm: 1/2 C cottage cheese, 1 rice cake
6:00 pm: 5 oz chicken breast, 1/2 C brown rice, 1 C spinach, (all of that drizzled with 1 t olive oil), 1/2 grapefruit
(went to the gym)
9:00 pm: 1/2 C cottage cheese, 18 All Bran crackers
(bed at midnight - I don't eat right before bed)

I told you that I'd share the quotes that I read, while I was running. Maybe they'll inspire YOU! Here you go:

"If you want to become the best runner you can be, start now. Don't spend the rest of your life wondering if you can do it."

"Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step."

"Remember today, for it is the beginning of always. Today marks the start of a brave new future filled with all your dreams can hold. Think truly to the future and make those dreams come true."


So...was it worth it? Did it do anything for me?
Well, I sure feel better. I have more energy and I just generally feel good.


Oh yeah...and I lost 4 lbs. :)
Moving on to week two...

Friday, January 8, 2010

Moving Into This Century...FINALLY!

So, hell has frozen over.
Pigs have flown.
My mother is texting.

I never thought I'd see the day when she'd own a cell phone...let alone actually own one and use it to text. She isn't half bad, either. Two thumbs up, for moving into this century, Mom! ;)

Now, if only we could get the grandparents on board...

Monday, January 4, 2010

*~ Peanut ~*

She's going to be walking soon
and there will be no holding her back.
Thank goodness she's still going to need to hold my hand,
because I'm not ready to let her go.
Peanut...is still a peanut. But...every day I see her change and grow. She's learning every second of every day and watching her absorb it all...makes me sad. And proud. But, sad.

She is standing easily now, without holding on to anything. She'll just pop up in the middle of the floor, easy as can be and shoot me a toothy little grin. She looks at me and claps, wanting me to clap, too. I can't help but smile and fall in love with her...meanwhile, I'm feeling my heart break, just a little.

I want to take this moment...grasp it in my hands...and never let it go.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

I've Made Up My Mind

I know me.

I know me better than anyone knows me.

I know what makes me tick and what motivates me.

I know that I am not ready for a half marathon. I'm not even ready to begin training for a half marathon. I've got to get a good, solid, running foundation back, before I try to climb that wall. So, today I am starting. I found a program that I think will work for me. It eases me back into everything at an incredibly slow pace...allowing my mind to catch up to the fact that I'm doing this again.

It starts out so slow, that I'm worried I'm going to grow bored of it. But...I'm going to trust it and follow it and stick it out.

I also know that I love inspirational quotes and for some reason they get into my head and stick there. I've printed up some quotes for each week (8 weeks total, for this program) and I'm putting them on the back of my tracker. I'll leave these on the treadmill while I run, as a reminder of why I'm doing what I'm doing. Perhaps they will even distract me a bit from the burning and pain. :)

My weeks will run Sunday-Saturday, so I will post either every Saturday or Sunday with my progress and I'll share the quotes that I used to push me, for that week. I have no idea if anyone even reads this little world of mine anymore, but being accountable to myself should be enough.

Because...in the end...it's only me that matters.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Overcoming Myself

I am making myself crazy.
I am the type of person that once I decide to do something...it's final. Even if it's hard. No excuses. No exceptions. Somehow and someway, I find a way to make things work out.
And then...there is running.
Before Presley, I got up to 2.5 miles. I could run that straight and was so proud of myself. Now? I can barely do .5 mile. Is it because I just can't do it? No. It's because my mind takes over and I talk myself out of it.
I am having such an issue overcoming my mind and just doing it.
A friend of mine is training to do the SLC half marathon in April. I know when she told me, she was hinting to me that I should get training and do it with her. I so badly want to. I really do. I have no desire to do a full marathon...the though of pushing my body like that just doesn't appeal to me. But, a half marathon is something that I actually think I could do.
*sigh*
I don't want to commit to something so huge, only to fail and let her down. Let myself down. But, maybe it's the commitment I need, to push myself to train.
*sigh*
Me needs to think on it.


“Courage doesn't always roar.
Sometimes courage is the quiet voice
at the end of the day saying,
"I will try again tomorrow.”

Friday, January 1, 2010

New Year's Eve

We had so much fun on new year's eve. Family came over with their kids and it turned into quite the party! There was SO much food and SO much chaos...but lots of laughter, too. We partied till about 2 am...though some made it that long and others didn't. :)

All the kids (except Pres, who was already in bed.)
Gail and Kevin
Cameron and Brittenay
Me and Him
Party Poopers

Happy New Year's, Everyone!