Friday, November 5, 2010

Happy 2nd Birthday, Carter


Today marks two years from Carter's due date. I still think about him often and wonder how different our family would be, if he would have been born.

If there is one thing I've learned, it's that the "what ifs" and the "coulda, woulda shouldas" will do nothing more than make you miserable.

I got into a conversation regarding abortion, with a friend, the other day. I have my own views on that matter, of which I will not get into, in this post. However, when this person told me, referring to someone else's new pregnancy, "It's not a baby, yet.", I burst into tears.

I calmly replied with, "I lost my pregnancy at just under 9 weeks...he was still my baby."

The conversation quickly ended, because I don't think they had a response to that.

Carter will always be my baby. I never got to hold him, or touch him or talk to him. I never got to hear his first cry, his first laugh, or to see him smile. But, he will always be mine.

One time, we'll all be together. Until then, I take comfort in the fact that he is in the arms of his Angel Grandma. I know that she is watching him. Holding him. Loving him...until I can take over.

3 comments:

Lacey Sue said...

I totally and completely fell apart on October 23- I didn't think I would. But as I held Camden I told him about the sibling he should have- my baby girl I didn't get the honor of giving birth to. I cried. Anyone who told me my baby "wasn't a baby yet" would get a fist to the face I'm afraid! Happy birthday angel Carter!

Whitney said...

Happy birthday, little Carter! You take good care of your grandma and uncle up there!

Cindy said...

Hi this is Cindy and I just wanted to let you know that you are one wonderful woman and stong. Please take care.