Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Why Do Women Do That?

Sometimes, as an adult woman, I find myself saying things to/about myself that are deplorable. We've all been there. C'mon...you know what I'm talking about. You underestimate yourself. You devalue yourself. You put yourself down.


I read a piece once (and many blog posts) that discussed this very subject. In it, the author discussed how we should never say things to/about ourselves that we wouldn't say to our daughters. Or our sisters. Or our friends. If we treat these people with such respect and kindness, why do we fail to do that for ourselves?

Imagine with me, for a moment, that you are a little girl. Look at your daughter (or sister, or granddaughter, or friend's daughter) and imagine that this little girl is you. What would you tell her? What would you tell her about life? About love? About self esteem? About her looks? What would you say to her, if she questioned her worth?

Would you tell her that she is fat? That she isn't worthy of love or friendship? That she'll never be good enough? Smart enough? Thin enough? Worthy of your time, attention or love? Would you look down on her for mistakes she'd made? Would you never, ever forgive? Would you belittle her? Would you point out ever flaw and criticize her every attempt?

Of course you wouldn't.

So why do women do that to themselves?

Why is it, that no matter how smart or funny or pretty or special or kind or caring, other people say that we are...we can't believe them? Why can't we see what they see? Why can't we admit that we are damn amazing? That we ARE worth it. That we ARE special. That perfection is a myth that will never be obtained?

Why do we let others tear us down? Why let them have that power over us? Would we tear our daughters down, or idly sit by and watch someone else tear them down?

No, we wouldn't. We would stand up for them.

So why don't women do that for themselves? Why don't we stand up for ourselves and not allow others to make us feel unworthy or inferior?

We may be adults...but we used to be little girls. Someone's daughter. Someone's sister. Someone's friend. Perhaps it's time that we learn to stand up for that little girl, in us all. The little girl in us, still asking if she's good enough.

Someone has to stand up for her. If you don't...who will?


Amy said...

Thank you - I needed this!

I read an article once about how women openly put themselves down in front of each other and men don't! For example, "sorry my house is such a mess!" "its okay, mine looks horrible too." --I guess it makes us feel better??? yeah right!

This is not uncommon... I need to think about what I do/say more! Thank you!

Whitney said...

Wow, what a day to post this! It sure put me in my place. That is an awesome point to think about... Thank you so much for sharing. I will remember this!

Bonnie said...

This brought me to tears Leeann! Thanks for posting this. It couldn't have happened on a better day! I love you!!!!