Friday, July 16, 2010

No, Seriously...I'm Busy

I have found the perfect job, for my children. They are all going to be Kirby salesmen. They have all of the qualities...they like to ring doorbells, they can be annoying at times and they don't take "no", for an answer.

Kirby Guy: *holding large box* "Can I come in and push this around for a minute?"

Me: *wishing he were just some random guy asking to clean my house and not trying to sell me something* "Not today."

Kirby Guy: "It will only take a minute."

Me: *so many funny jokes running through my head right now, but realizing that he's probably barely over 18, I keep them to myself* "Sorry, not today."

Kirby Guy: "Would another day be better?"

Me: *thinking, sure...the next day I have where I've had a chance to shower, my house is clean, my work is caught up and my kids aren't screaming on the front porch, running between my legs and crying in my arms...I'll give you a call* "Umm, yeah, another day."

Kirby Guy: "So, tomorrow?"

Me: *high five for persistence!* "No, not tomorrow, I'm busy."

Kirby Guy: "How about Monday?"

Me: *really considering shocking him, by replying that I'm busy on Monday, having my personal parts cut open...decide against it* "No, I really have a lot going on."

Kirby Guy: "So maybe in a couple months?"

Me: "Sure, maybe then."

Kirby Guy: "You really don't like Kirby, do you?"

Me: *I'd like it more if you weren't annoying the crap out of me right now. I'd like it more if I could just buy it in a store without the hassle. I'd like it more if you weren't on my porch right now.* "I actually really like Kirby, but as you can see *my kids have now begun to circle me and scream* I'm quite busy."

Kirby Guy: "But, the paperwork only takes a few minutes."

Me: "Nope. Again, I have a lot going on and don't have time." *begins shutting door*

Kirby Guy: *walks away...pretty sure I hear him mumble, "B***h"*

Me: *fights the urge to yell, "You should try being married to me!"*


Whitney said...

Hilarious! You should have thrown whatever was closest to you at him... (unless it was a child... ;)

Jaquie said...

This post had me cracking up!

bequi said...

I try to be polite to door-to-door salesmen because my brother used to do it (the big ones in our neighborhood are security systems and siding), but after saying "No" 2 times I always say, "I've told you no twice now, have a nice day," and I shut the door in their face. And then I'm SURE they call me the B word.

Oh, and I never tell them they can come back later because then they might come back later. ;)