Another semester is coming to a close and I can't believe it. I look back at all the weeks/months that I've completed and all that I've accomplished, and think, "Woah! That went so fast!". But, then I look ahead and think, "Ugh! I still have that much longer to go?!?"
These classes have been harder than anything I've done in the past. I've always been pretty lucky, in that I don't have to study much for my grades. I've never been one to spend hours and hours going over my assignments or lectures. This semester has been completely different. I have spent hours upon hours, studying for these classes. It has definitely given me a small taste of what nursing school is going to be like...and that terrifies me!
How in the world am I going to swing more than this? I'm constantly ripped and pulled in every direction. Seeing my daughter cry, because I can't go to a Mommy/Daughter thing at church, because I have to be at a cadaver lab...breaks my heart. How am I (and how are they) going to handle more of "I can't right now, I'm sorry" and "Mommy needs to study" and "I can't...I have school"?
I get so behind on my work, that I'm working until midnight. Or one. Or two. Which makes that seven o'clock alarm even more painful. Something is going to have to change over this next year, because trying to juggle my busy family, job and school is going to become even harder. I'll be doubling my school work load, plus adding a day of clinicals each week.
I know other people have survived this. I'm sure some have survived it with harder life situations. I just hope that I can gather every bit of strength left in me and persevere. I hope that those around me can hold on to enough patience, to deal with me.
Heaven knows...I couldn't do it without any of you.