Thursday, February 4, 2010

Humor Follows Me

Well, we went in this morning for Josh's inguinal hernia repair. Poor man has been in pain for quite a few weeks. (Kinda what you get, when your wife has told you for YEARS that "things" don't look normal and you should have them checked out...) Ahem.

During the consultation last week, she warned him that with the location and severity of his hernia, there's a small chance that he could become sterile after the procedure. I wanted to jump up and down, clap and bake her brownies.

Well, we got to the hospital and the nurse was talking to Josh about what to expect and that he'll need to be driven home....yadda, yadda...usual hospital stuff. And then? She calls me Josh's Mom. Mom. As in, MOTHER. Meaning...I LOOK OLD ENOUGH TO HAVE GIVEN BIRTH TO A 29 YEAR OLD. Yeah, I totally gave her a look that was a cross between, "Are you effing kidding me?" and "I want to punch you in the face." She quickly recanted and blamed it on the fact that his records still state he's single...but, whatever.

So, they take him back and I'm sent to the waiting room for the next 2 1/2 hours. I brought all my schoolwork and fully intended on studying. Buuuut...I was so tired! Getting up at 4:30 am is not for me and I just couldn't keep my eyes open. I closed them for just a second and then I heard BANG!!! That loud noise was the sound of my head cracking against the wall, because I had fallen asleep and my head rolled back. I quickly sat up and peered around the room, at the other people, trying to see if anyone noticed. Needless to say...I didn't fall asleep again.

A bit while later, the doctor came to tell me that he was out of surgery and everything went well. She said it wasn't the worst hernia he's ever seen, but it was still a pretty large one. As she's telling me how the "membrane" went all the way down into his testicle and he's most likely had it since birth, I can see out of the corner of my eye, all the people staring. I tell ya...say testicle in a crowd of any ages and everyone will perk up!

About 30 minutes later I was allowed to go back, because he was starting to wake up. Being funny like I am, (well, I think I'm funny...) the first thing I say to my groggy man is, "So? Did they tell you the bad news?" He looks a little worried and perks up. Trying to keep a straight face, I say, "They had to castrate you." He just cracked up. That man knows me, too well.

So, it's been quite a few hours, we're home and he's doing well. He's not in too much pain (Thank You, Loratab!) and I get a good chuckle every time he shuffles to the bathroom, with a bag full of ice stuffed down his pants!


Gail said...

Wow! I just learned way too much about Josh! Good to hear everything went good.

mickey said...

that is so funny. not his surgery, but your spin on it.