Monday, February 1, 2010

Everything I Do...

...I do for you.
I am a lot of things.

I am a wife, a daughter, an aunt, a granddaughter, a cousin, a niece and a friend.

I am a student, a writer, a listener, a runner and a hard worker.

I am moody, under confident, strong willed and easily irritated.

I am kind, thoughtful, sentimental and an over achiever.

None of this matters.

Or, at least none of that matters as much as the fact that I am a Mom. (Or momma, mother, mama, mommy or MOOOOM!...depending on who's calling me and what they need.) :)

I'm aware of what that title means. That title means that I am responsible for raising children, that will grow into adults and have a major impact on the world. I am raising people, who will one day contribute to society...and I want their contribution to be something of worth.

I am raising them to be responsible, intelligent, giving, hardworking, self reliant and respectful. Everything I do in my life, is with the keen awareness that I am being watched. They watch the choices I make and the reactions that I have.

They see that Mommy works hard at school, so they know how much I value an education. They hear Mommy apologize for making mistakes, so they know that mistakes happen, but apologizing with a humble heart, means that they can be forgiven. They see Mommy and Daddy kiss, (even though it gets met with a loud, "EWWWW!"), so they know that we love each other and work as a team to make this family run smoothly.

Everything I do in my for them. I made the choice when I had them, to no longer put myself first. I can be tired. Sick. Sad. Worried. Stressed. None of that matters, when it comes to them. I will always put them first and make decisions, with their best interest in mind.

When anyone calls into question, my ability as a mother, I react in typical "Momma Bear" fashion. I will lash out, furiously and fast, because nothing cuts me deeper than someone implying that I am anything, other than a great mom. There is no other area in my life, that I work harder at, than Motherhood.

After the initial shock wears off, I realize that it is MY mistake. MY mistake for allowing someone to make me doubt myself for even a split second. MY mistake for allowing someone to hurt me in such a way.

I know inside...deep inside, where you can't even lie to yourself...that I am a wonderful mother. I may have failed in other areas of my life that day, but I go to bed every, single night...knowing that I have truly done my best that day, for my children. No one will ever...ever...convince me otherwise.


mickey said...

i know that you are a GREAT mom leeann. don't ever give into someone eles's downplay. you said it yourself, you know deep down inside and that is TRUTH!

go mommy leeann, go!

p.s. thanks for your comments, you sweet friend you.

A hot mom in Colorado ... said...

I believe when others call into account your parenting, its because they themselves doubt their own parenting skills. It's easier to take it out on you than "man up" and make changes in their own life.

Shellie said...

Yup, you know what it's all about girl!

Mom said...

I think your an awesome mom. I should know, I'm your mom!

Andrea said...

you can't see me...but i'm giving you a standing ovation right now!