Monday, November 30, 2009

Coming Into The Homestretch...

Hey, hey, hey!

I'm still alive and kicking...as I dive into my last week of school! Can I get a woot! woot!? Next week is finals and I am hoping and praying... and praying and hoping... that I have somehow pulled A's in both classes. It would be nothing short of a MIRACLE if I did...but stranger things have happened.

Right?

Right?

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Presley's Party

I finally got Presley's birthday party pictures taken off my camera. We had so many people over and she loved all the attention. Thank you so much to everyone that came to make our baby girl's day extra special.

Her shirt says, "I'M THE BIRTHDAY GIRL...now gimme some cake".
I always make their first birthday cake, to match their nursery theme. Her cakes (this one and her personal one) and the cupcakes, took me about 5 hours to do! I had to keep freezing the cake during the frosting stage, so that crumbs wouldn't get in the frosting, where I had carved the cake. It was worth it. I was happy with how it turned out.

"Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday, dear Presley! Happy birthday to you!"
She dove right in!


All cleaned up from her bath and ready to play!

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Turkey Traditions

Things are going to be a little different this year. I know that and I'm okay with it. Mostly. However, some traditions of mom's I just didn't want to let go, because my kids loved them so much.
She loved making everyone these turkey cookies. Every year at our place at the dinner table, was a little turkey.
While gathering the things to make the cookies, I realized how much thought actually went into making these cookies. It never occurred to me to buy extra candy corn at Halloween and horde them for Thanksgiving. Well, after visiting every store in the county, I was realizing that I should have! Apparently candy corn is a big seller at Thanksgiving, too...because if I found a spot on the shelf where it was labeled that they should be...it was empty. I finally found some and turkey making was on!
Notice Avery's turkey on the far left. I don't know what happened to that poor bird, but his beak was connected to his feet. :)
Even Presley was allowed a taste. The girl LOVES food!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING
FROM OUR FAMILY
TO YOURS!

Thanksgiving 2009 - My Quilt

I'm thankful for healthy, happy, perfect children. They may make me scream, but they also make me laugh. They may make me crazy, but they also make me proud. They may make me cry, but they also make me smile. They make me "Mommy". It is not just a title, but a responsibility that I embrace wholeheartedly.

I'm thankful for my husband and for the second chance that life has given us. Like the saying goes, "We may not have it all together...but together we have it all."

I'm thankful for the memories I have of Mom. I strive everyday to make her proud of me. I miss her so much, but I would rather remember the wonderful moments, than cry about the missed ones.

I'm thankful for the opportunity to go to school. That wouldn't be possible without the love and support of people in my life. I cannot wait to fulfill my dreams and prove to my children that with determination, anything is possible.

I'm thankful for all of the material things that I have in this world. While they may not be the "best", they are mine. Josh and I have worked hard, to have what we have.

I'm thankful for my job that is incredibly flexible. It allows me to work around the most important things in my life.

I'm thankful for my family. All of you. Each person plays an important role in who I am and who I'm becoming.

I'm thankful for my friends. I am blessed with an amazing number of friends, that come from all walks of life. I always know that no matter what type of support I need, there is always someone will to step up and be there...no questions asked.

I'm thankful for each part of my life. The past. The present. The future. The people in it. The people that used to be. The people that will be.

All of this, sewn together, is my life's patchwork quilt.

It may be worn in places. Some colors may have faded. The stitching may have come undone in spots.

But, all together, it tells a story.

My story.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Way To Boost My Self-Esteem, Kid

Bailey: "How come you don't wear fingernail polish anymore?"
Me: "I've never really worn fingernail polish."
Bailey: "Not even when you were younger?"
Me: "Nope, not even then."
Bailey: "Ohhhh, (like she finally understands), they hadn't discovered it, yet?"

Monday, November 23, 2009

I Feel At Peace

I feel like I have closed another chapter of my life. I feel a weight lifted off my shoulders, when I didn't even know that one was there.
Presley turning one this weekend has made me realize how quickly time passes. I am done with pregnancies and newborn phases. I can't go back...and I'm okay with that.
I'm looking toward the future and I like what I see! My kids are all at varying levels of independence, but progressing. It's so wonderful and amazing to see them grow and change. Now I get to focus on raising my family, rather than adding to it.
This epiphany couldn't have come at a better time. I've had this sense of urgency over the last few weeks, that I feel I need to pay attention to. I don't know what is evoking these feelings, but I've found in the past that when I recognize these promptings, I had better pay attention to them.
I am loving school. It's stressful and crazy, but I love it. I've been back at it for two years now and I figured I probably had another two or three before I would even consider nursing school. I wanted Presley to get a bit older, before I tackled something like that. Lately, I've felt something pushing me forward. Something is telling me that I shouldn't drag this out and that I need to hurry it up. I don't know what it is, but I'm going to meet with my counselor next week and figure out what I need to do. I've talked to another mom that is currently a 2nd year nursing student and she hasn't sugarcoated it...but she's made me feel that I can do this!
I don't know what pre-req's I still have to do, so I need to find out and start checking them off. I'll probably throw in online classes where I can, so that I'm not gone from the house more often then necessary.
It's gonna be crazy. It's gonna be stressful.
It's gonna be worth it.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Presley's First Year

I told you I've been busy! This was a lot of work, but so worth it. It's 10 minutes long, but so amazing to watch her grow and change.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Happy Birthday Presley!

One year ago today, my life changed. Forever.
My perfect, preemie princess came into this world seven weeks early. She was beautiful and tiny. She was strong and perfect. She was sweet and soft. She was my everything.
And she still is.
Over the past year, I have fallen in love with this little girl. I thought I loved her the moment I saw her, but it doesn't even compare to the love I feel for her now. There isn't a day that goes by that she doesn't make me smile and laugh.





Mom would be so in love with this little peanut. It's hard, knowing that she won't be here to celebrate her birth with us, today. I know that she's watching over her...but I would love to have her here, holding my baby girl and smothering her with kisses.

I love you, my peanut. You have completed our family, perfectly. I am so lucky to be your mother and there isn't a day that goes by that I'm not aware of that. You are so precious, baby girl. Happy Birthday!

Friday, November 20, 2009

It's Time For A Change

Forgive me for being so busy lately! Sunday evening, I'll share with all of you what I've been busy doing! I can't wait to show everyone.
However, I did find time this week to get my hair done! It's been a while since I've done a really hairstyle, because I spent so long growing it out. However, I think it looks fabulous!


Monday, November 16, 2009

A Reason, A Season or A Lifetime

Have you ever had someone in your life that you know is no good for you? Someone that knows you so well, that they can easily manipulate you, without even trying?

*sigh*

I have someone like that in my life. This person has been a great friend in the past. Or have they? Do I just see what I want to see?

Do I love this person for who they are? Or do I love the idea of who they are?

I couldn't find the author's name, but I read this once and it has stuck with me since:

"People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.
When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway); and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant."

Perhaps this person isn't a "lifetime" friend. Perhaps they were just "a season" friend. I don't know that this is a bad thing. Maybe what we needed from each other has been fulfilled and we are ready to move on.

But if that's the case...why can't I even type that without crying? Maybe I'm expecting too much.

From both of us.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

There's A Fungus, Among Us!!

As one of my labs in microbiology, we got to take some blood agar home. We had to touch it to any surface and then watch and see what grew over the next 48 hours. I was excited to do this...not too excited to see the results! Eww!

1. Josh's Tongue - Yup, he was brave enough to stick his tongue out and let me touch it. I've always heard that a dog's mouth is cleaner than a human mouth. I wanted to know if it was true!

2. Shylo's Tongue - I don't know...kind of seems like a tie. So, either my husband has an extra clean mouth or my dog has an extra dirty one.

3. Front Door Handle - This disgusts me. I am constantly Lysoling or Clorox wiping my door handles and light switches...not that you can tell. Gag.

4. Fridge Door Handle - A fungus. That's right...there is fungus. (That hairball looking thing on the bottom, left side.) Again, I use a lot of Clorox wipes in the kitchen. Gag. My professor tried to calm me down and tell me that fungus is normal and we are breathing it in all the time. He also pointed out that Clorox wipes actually have no bleach in them. Seriously? I just assumed... Guess I'm going back to Clorox spray.

5. Highchair Tray - I want to defend myself first by saying that I took the sample before I cleaned it. This was right after she ate. However, it's still disgusting! Again, my professor tried to make me feel better and told me that this is normal and this is how babies build their immunities. But still...eww. I'll be running the tray through the dishwasher from now on.


Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Rest In Peace, Tori

It's funny to me, how someone that you've never met, can touch your life in a way you never imagined.
A few years ago, Josh played in a golf benefit fundraiser, that was raising funds for a local family. This family was raising the money so that they could take their daughter, Tori, to China for stem cell treatment.
On Father's Day 2005, this beautiful 16 year old was in an automobile accident with her little sister and two cousins. Their vehicle rolled 1.5 times and landed upside down in a canal. Tori got everyone else out of the vehicle, but was unable to free herself. She suffered an Anoxic Brain Injury and remained in a semi-vegetative state since then.
I have followed her blog (pray4tori.com) ever since that golf tournament. While the updates were sometimes far apart, you could feel the love her family had for her, every time they updated.
Sadly, in October she became ill and this past Saturday, she passed away. My heart cries for her family, as I can only imagine the pain they must feel.
Things like this scare me. I have five perfectly healthy children. However, I don't know what the future will bring. I can do my best to keep them safe, but I can't predict or stop what may come.
I don't know what will happen tomorrow.
But today, I will hold my babies a little tighter.
Thankful...that I can.

Monday, November 9, 2009

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

GOOD

-My mom is going to watch the kids during the times that I'm in school and Josh is at work. Hallelujah! One HUGE weight taken off my shoulders.
-I went shopping for the week and only spent $90.18 for a weeks worth of groceries. Now, every meal is planned out and I spent way less than I normally do.
-We are not selling out house now. We found some things out about the house that we wanted to buy and it has issues that we don't want to deal with. No stress of moving!
-The flu that hit us all last week, is finally gone.
-Two credit cards are paid off. One to go and then the madness caused by the crazy gas prices a year ago will be cleaned up.
-The big van is listed for sale and I found out that the KBB on it is only $3 off of what we owe! A sign, perhaps!?
-Presley has five teeth now! That explains the whiny baby I've had the last couple days!
-The kids parent/teacher conferences went well. My kids are well behaved and smart...no shocker there. ;)

BAD

-My house is a mess.
-My laundry is behind.
-My school work needs some serious catching up, after missing school last week due to the flu.
-I'm exhausted.
-Two minutes ago Luke just cut his own hair. *sigh* His bald head is gonna be darn cold...

UGLY

-I have a zit. I never have zits. This one is making me unhappy. :(

Saturday, November 7, 2009

A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes

The morning of Josh's birthday, he left for work and I drifted off back to sleep...and had the strangest, most comforting, most wonderful dream. At first I thought it meant one thing and then after discussing it with my friends and delving into it further...I realize even more, how wonderful of a dream it was.

I dreamt that I was out of town for a work "thing". (Which is strange, because I don't travel for my work...but, I digress...) I was staying in a hotel and was all snuggled in my bed half asleep. Suddenly, my door opened and some people that I work with and go to school with came in my room. They were all standing around talking, not paying attention to me, all snuggled in bed.
Then, Mom came and sat down on the bed next to me. She looked so great. She was wearing a lavender shirt and had hair past her shoulders that was wavy and beautiful. She was smiling and looked so happy.
I talked to her for a few minutes (I don't know what about) and that's when I realized that Mom is dead and shouldn't be sitting on my bed! I looked around at everyone and no one else was paying me much attention, or thought it was weird that I was talking to a dead person.
I looked at Mom again and burst into tears. We were hugging each other and I was just sobbing and sobbing. I told her how over and over how much I missed her and she told me that I could, "always come see her on the 11 1/2 floor on Main Street". I knew immediately that she meant the Salt Lake City Temple. I have no idea what the 11 1/2 floor means, but the Temple is on Main Street. I haven't been to the Temple since Mom passed away and perhaps it is time to go again.
Then, Mom kept saying something about "my baby". Originally, I thought she was telling me I'm pregnant (I'M NOT!) and I didn't understand what she was talking about. I kept telling her that I don't have a baby. She kept responding that I did and she was laughing. (Somehow, I knew she wasn't talking about Presley.)
After talking to some friends about it, I now realize that she must have been telling me about Carter! It was the day before Carter's due date and he had been on my mind a lot. Perhaps this was her way of telling me that she has him and is taking care of him for me. I already knew that this was the case, but to have it confirmed to me like this...wow.
I woke up in shock and crying. She was so real. I touched her. I felt her hug me. I hope this isn't the last time that I get to "talk" to her...but it sure has given me some comfort for now.
I love you, Mom. Thank you for taking care of our baby boy.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Happy Birthday, My Angel

Dear Little One,

Happy first birthday! Your due date was one year ago, today. There should be cake and ice cream, but instead, there are just tears and a big "what could have been".

In my heart, I know that you were my little boy. My little Carter, that I never got to hold. We never officially gave you a name, but I know that's who you are. I knew from the moment the test finally came up positive, that one more little brother was on the way.

Conceiving Presley so soon after losing you and then her being born so early, gives me an idea of the milestones you would be achieving right now. What I don't know is your personality. Would you laugh at my silly faces? Would you cry and reach up your arms when I walked away from you? What would your voice sound like? I don't know what you look like. Are your eyes be blue or brown? Do you have freckles? All of these unanswered questions are the things I think about, when it's quiet and no one is around.

Lately, I've been a big believer of "everything happens for a reason". Watching a good friend grieve the recent loss of her baby has made me think again, of what your "reason" was. Perhaps you were sent to me, so that I could help other women through this journey. I know that I had a few women that helped me and perhaps now it is my time, to pay it forward. I can tell her that I understand everything she is going through...because I truly do.

She called it being a member of the "Sad Club". I know she isn't ready yet, but one day she will realize that being the Mommy of an angel isn't sad...it is the most special thing on earth. I am so brave of a woman, that I can love a child that I have never met. I am so strong of a woman, that I can survive heartbreak and still smile. One day, she will be, too.

I love you, my little Carter. You will forever be a missing part of our family, but you are never missing in my heart. Happy Birthday. I pray that you are singing and laughing in Heaven with all of the other little angels, too perfect for this world.

Love,
Mommy

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Happy Birthday Josh!

Happy 29th Birthday to my wonderful husband!
You are an amazing father and a loving husband. We have been through a lot together and I can't think of another person I would have rather spent the last 11 years with.
Who would have known then, that our young love would have turned into what it is today. We have grown up a lot together and I can't wait to see what the next 29 years has in store for us.
This past decade sure has been a ride! ;)

Happy Birthday, "Bun Boy!"

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Surprise, Surprise

Since Josh's birthday is tomorrow, I decided to surprise him with tickets to the Jazz vs Rockets game last night.
It was so wonderful! It is very rare that we can go out together, without the kids, so we enjoyed that more than anything.
I'm always surprised by how into the game some people get! They yell and scream, like the players can actually hear them. It was cracking me up! I spent most of the game just people watching. Human beings are fascinating creatures... :)
All in all, it was a lot of fun and we enjoyed our evening out. Even if the Jazz did lose. I knew they would and I won a back massage for my prediction. ;)

(pic taken with my phone - sorry for the crappy quality)

Monday, November 2, 2009

Presley Presley Pumpkin Eater

Pres was kept away from the cutting part of the night, but I thought I'd see how she reacted to being plunked down in the "guts". It was hilarious! She immediately tried to eat it of course!
She'd put in a seed.
Spit out a seed.
Put in a seed.
Spit out a seed.
It was so darn cute!

It was all fun and games...until we piled the "guts" on her legs. It took her a minute to get used to it!



This was Presley's last "first" holiday. Next event? Daddy's birthday. And then? My baby turns one. Let the tears begin...

Sunday, November 1, 2009

So...We're A Little Slow

We didn't carve pumpkins until tonight. I know, I know...we are a wee bit late. But, it's the thought that counts, right? :)
The kids didn't mind and they had a great time with Daddy.



Stay tuned tomorrow to see Presley's experience...