Saturday, October 31, 2009

Happy Halloween 2009!

Halloween is such a fun time around our house. The kids look forward to dressing up for trick-or-treating the entire month and it makes me smile to see them so happy.
This year I had my kitties and my mouse. I love that they still let me dress them all in a "theme". I find it so much cuter than them all being something random. I think they are all adorable, don't you agree?

This was Presley's last "first" holiday. I cannot believe that my teeny peanut is almost one year old. She sure made an adorable little kitten! Presley and Gavin (Josh's cousin) Jumping on the trampoline while they waited to go. This is an insane amount of candy. INSANE! This doesn't even take into account what didn't make it home because they were eating as we drove! (We only go to people we know, I don't need the "razorblades in the candy" speech.) This picture doesn't do it justice. This pile is four feet across and a foot deep. INSANE!

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Decisions Have Been Made

I'm crazy. Perhaps even certifiably.
When we moved here, we swore that we wouldn't move again until I was done with school.
Buuuut....we listed our house up for sale this morning.
We just feel that it is a good move for our family and ultimately gets us where we want to be. We know that we have a long road ahead of us, what with the market being so shaky right now. However, if it does sell (and sell quickly, please!) then it will just confirm to us that we have made the right decision.
What was it that I said?
Everything happens for a reason...

Monday, October 26, 2009

It's A Fantabulous Day

(Who swears he's only 78...I won't tell his secret!)
2. One of my good friends found out that she
does NOT have MS!
I'm so happy for her and her family!
3. Josh got a JOB!

Picture Saturation

We took some fall pics at a local historical site. The kids played along pretty well and we got some cute shots. I can't believe how big they are all getting!

We started all this. Silly us. :)

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Whatever Will Be...Will Be

Josh and I are in the middle of making some decisions. We are trying not to let emotion rule our decision making and let whatever happens...happen. (I realize that this almost sounds like we are thinking of having another baby...I promise, that's not it!)

I told Josh that no matter what I've gone through in my life, I've always been able to look back on it and say, "Ohh...that's why "that" happened.". I may not have understood, at the time, why my life was taking a particular path, but it always became clear at some point later.

That's how I feel about our current situation. I don't know what is going to happen, but regardless of the outcome, I know that it will be the right outcome. I know that I will look back on it later and know "why" things have worked out a certain way.

Until then, I don't have to know the "why"...I just have to be content with the fact that everything happens for a reason.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

My Hair - Two Years Later

Time flies...whether you are having fun or not.
I can't believe it has been two years (as of yesterday) since we all banned together and shaved our heads to support Mom.
I have never regretted the decision I made that day. I didn't mind the stares. I didn't mind the looks. I didn't mind the pointing. I am proud of the choice that I made and I loved explaining my story to those that dared to ask.
That decision was proof...proof that you can see love.

Day One
Two Years Later
Want to read the whole story? Click here.

Friday, October 23, 2009

I HATE Liars!

What is so damn difficult about honesty? Huh?
ATK (Josh's former place of employment) has done nothing but screw us, since he was laid off. It just adds insult to injury when they already ripped his job from him (after months of assuring him that he wouldn't be affected).
First of all, when he was processed out the day he was laid off, they told him that we would have medical insurance until November 30th. Now? We get a letter from our medical insurance letting us know that our insurance is cancelled as of October 31st. WHAT?! He has called them numerous times about this and they keep giving the same scripted response, "We know there was an issue with what you were told and we are working on it." Well that's just wonderful, you idiot stick, but the end of the month is fast approaching and we need it resolved.
Then, we try to use our flexible spending for a doctor co-pay and we get denied. Again, when he was processed out, they assured him that we could use any of the money that had already been contributed (over $1,150!) until the end of the year. Now? They are telling him that the day he got laid off was his last day to use it and now we have forfeited all the money. They blame the IRS and that there is absolutely nothing they can do.
I want to cry.
Crooked, crooked, CROOKED people.
To top that off...we got a letter earlier this week from unemployment telling us that his severance would not affect unemployment and we would begin receiving benefits. Now? Today, they send another letter saying, just kidding! Because of the severance we aren't eligible to receive anything until after November 28th.
It's one blow after another and I am so sick and tired of us getting screwed every time we turn around. You know damn well that the executives at ATK are sitting back in their chairs, living off their FIVE MILLION DOLLAR BONUSES (no, I'm not exaggerating...I've seen the paperwork) and not even batting an eye at the turmoil, panic and outrage they have caused.
How do these people even sleep at night???

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Working on ME

I feel like everything is falling into place.
Josh had two interviews this morning and it looks promising. They called him back this afternoon and asked him to come in for a 3rd interview with them tomorrow morning. He also has an interview with another company tomorrow and with a third company next Monday. I just know that one of these is going to work out. We are going to be fine and we will have grown from this experience.
School is killing me, but I'm realizing that I've got to let go of other things and focus on it more. I've got to spend more time studying than I do. This is really important to me and I'm slowing figuring out how to prioritize what needs to be done.
My weight loss has finally kicked into gear again. I plateaued for so long (okay, let's be honest...I gave up trying), but that finally seems to be turning around. I know that I won't get where I want to be until I stop breastfeeding Pres, but she is my priority and I can patiently wait.
The kids have been healthy *knock on wood* and we haven't dealt with any hospitalizations (other than the minor hiccup with Avery). I am so thankful for that. Typically we've dealt with a lot more than we have and I'm grateful that sickness has left us alone, for the most part.
Relationships in my life are being worked on...or being let go. Sometimes distancing yourself from situations is the best thing you can do for self preservation. I'm no longer allowing other people to "make" me feel a certain way.
Overall, things are looking up.
Have things really changed? Or has my reaction to things changed?

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Presley - Eleven Months

I want to stop time.
I don't know how to do it, but I want to.
My tiny little little girl who has amazed me every single eleven months old. I cannot believe that she is on the cusp of her first birthday.
I want to just sit and hold her and make time slow down. She's getting so independent and mobile. She has quite the personality and every time I look at her, I can't help but smile.
I love you, peanut!

Monday, October 19, 2009

I'd Like To Take This Moment...To Complain

School is kicking my butt.

Apparently, I am supposed to be able memorize 4 1/2 chapters and be able to recall exact sentences from those chapters. I'm not really sure how knowing which way the cilia hairs in my ears bend when I drop my head forward will help me to be a better nurse...

I really wish that what was being taught and tested had some relevance to my ultimate goal. I think that's why I liked the CNA classes so much; there wasn't any time wasted, teaching me things that I won't use.

I've decided that they put us through this...crap...because they are trying to weed out those that can't stick it out.

Well, I'm on to their little game and I won't give up.

Bring it on.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Presley's Fifth Letter To Grandma

Dear Grandma,

The holidays are coming, Grandma and it's going to be the hardest time of the year. Mommy has been so used to things being done a certain way and she doesn't want anything to change.
Halloween always meant a warm dinner at your house, then trick or treating, followed by cinnamon pull-aparts and hot chocolate. It meant the doorbell ringing like crazy, because everyone knew that you gave out the best treats. It meant lots of smiles and laughs, because everyone loved "Aunt Pat" or "Grandma Pat". You meant so much, to so many.
Thanksgiving always meant butter pats shaped like pumpkins and turkey cookies. It meant a huge turkey that smelled so good and tasted even better. It meant a table "cloth" that was just a long sheet of paper for the kids to color and decorate while they waited. It meant smiles and laughs, because you were there.
Christmas meant you sneaking down to our house early in the morning, because you couldn't bear to miss the kids opening their presents from Santa. It meant a special gift from you, for each of the kids, because you knew them inside and out and you knew the perfect thing that would make them squeal with delight. It meant smiles and laughs, because you always put so much thought and love into the day.
I won't get to experience any of that with you, Grandma and it makes Mommy cry because she knows how much I am missing out on. It makes Mommy cry, because the other kids do realize what they are missing out on and she can't fill that void for them.
I love you, Grandma. You mean smiles and laughter, because that's how you lived. Smiling. And laughing.


Saturday, October 17, 2009

Pumpkin Patch 2009

We love going to the pumpkin patch every year to pick out our pumpkins. The kids have a blast running through the fields trying to find the "perfect" pumpkin. I love any excuse to take pictures of my cute kids!

Friday, October 16, 2009

Feeding Time At The Zoo

Pres is really getting into trying new foods. She absolutely loves blueberry pancakes for breakfast...although typically I would cut it up for her. Dad figured she could handle it by herself. She didn't seem to mind.

I love her "contemplative" face.
She loves showing off those teeth!
She also loved the chocolate chip cookie that Dad gave her, too. I wonder if any of the chocolate made it in her mouth?

One Happy Girl!

Thursday, October 15, 2009

To My Beautiful Angel

I never got to hold you in my arms,
but I will forever hold you in my heart.
Tonight, I will light a candle for you
and all the other angels,
who were too perfect for this world.
I love you, my sweet baby.