It's now been more than a month since you left us. You've missed an entire month of my life! That makes me sad, but it makes me even sadder when I realize that you are going to miss so much more.
It's not fair, Grandma. My sisters and brother got so much time with you. I'll never get to bake cookies with you or go on my birthday lunch with you. I'll never get to hold your hand as you walk me around the yard to look at flowers. You'll never get to cheer me on at my first soccer game, like you did on so many Saturday mornings for Bay and Ry. I'll never get to have my first sleep over with you.
I hate that you are missing out on so much...and that I am missing out on so much, too. A big part of my sisters and brother's memories have you in them...I will never get to say, "Remember when Grandma....".
Mommy has been looking at old pictures and she has realized how many of them, have you in them. Front and center, or off to the side, in the background...you are there. So many days that she took for granted that you would always be there. So many forgotten memories.
But, you will never be forgotten, Grandma. Mommy sees you in so many things. She sees you in Bay's gentle ways and in Ry's shy smile. She sees you in Avery's sense of humor and hears you in Luke's giggle. She even sees you in me, Grandma. Mommy looks into my eyes and sees Heaven and perfection.
Mommy just wishes that she could really see and hear you.
I love you, Grandma. Please keep coming to visit me. Mommy loves to watch me break into a great big smile, while staring at "nothing".