Sunday, June 28, 2009

Packing Away My Past

I hate doing laundry as much as the next person, but today...laundry made me cry.
I went through all of the kids clothes today, taking out any that were too small. When I got to Presley's I took out all of her preemie, newborn and 0-3 month clothes. I sat there holding those tiny little clothes, remembering how even some of the preemie clothes were too big on her, a short seven months ago.
Miniature onesies and teeny pajamas...some even too small to fit a doll. When Presley was in the NICU, I asked about the clothes that the babies wear, during their stay. The nurse said that some were donated and some were bought by them. I knew then, that when she outgrew her preemie and newborn clothes, we would donate them, for other little babies to wear as they waited to go home. Presley and I will go bring those next week (I hope!) and see some of her nurses. Wait until they see how "big" she has gotten!
As if the tiny clothes weren't enough to tear me up, there were all of the 0-3 month clothes. Some of those started with Bailey and made their way down. Tiny dresses that they looked so cute in. Pajamas they all wore, that I would snuggle them to sleep in. Cute little outfits, with the hat to match.
I packed those away for the last time. I wasn't packing them away "until next time"...because there won't be one. I'll never again snuggle my new baby in those soft pajamas. I'll never show off my baby girl in one of those dresses.
It's a strange feeling when you realize that another phase of your life is over. Childhood...gone. Teen years...gone. Years of being surprised by pregnancies or hoping for pregnancies...gone. Months of being pregnant and anxiously awaiting my new baby...gone. My twenties...rapidly going...
I've learned all too well the last couple years, that life is too short. Days pass in a blur and become months. Months melt into years and become decades. I need to appreciate the now...not dwell on the past and not stress about the future. But, like many things...that is easier said, than done.
All of this reflection on life...because of some teeny, tiny clothes.

4 comments:

Just Us said...

i try not to think about the day (that will come in the blink of an eye) where i will not have another little one to pass the hand-me-downs to....

Erin said...

I get teary eyed every time I put away N's clothes too.
Good for you for donating the clothes back. Your Mom would be proud :)

Tinabean said...

I can totally relate to what you are feeling.
Time goes by much to fast we need to really appreciate the time we have & make the most of it.
Memories are great & we will always have them.
I hope you & your family are doing well.
Little miss is getting so big & she is so cute!

Shellie said...

Boy can i relate to that one!