Thursday, May 14, 2009


This is how it is. It may not be how I like it...but it's how it is.

~If you get a random day to sleep school, no soccer, no reading group...the kids will always wake up an hour early.

~If you finally got flowers to grow and your yard is looking pretty nice, for once...your son will pick all the flower petals off the tulips. Not to give them to you, either...just to be a booger.

~If you are having an adult conversation in the matter how quiet you are and how loud the radio is...the 7 year old will always hear you.

~If it's midnight and you have a, a need... for some chocolate milk...the kids will have finished it.

~If you've just cleaned out the mini-van...someone will puke in it.

~If you decide to actually get dressed, instead of just rocking the pajama pants you've worn for 3 days...the baby will puke down your back and poop on your lap.

~Likewise...if you've just changed the sheets on your bed...someone will climb into your bed in the middle of the night and pee in it.

~If you haven't showered all day and your hair resembles Medusa...your neighbor will pick that day to visit...and your naked son will answer the door...thus ruining your plan to pretend you aren't home.

~If it's something you love...someone will break it.

~If it's something that shouldn't have been of the kids will repeat it to Grandma.

~If it's something that shouldn't have been of the kids will give an exact description to their teacher.

~If you tell a "little white lie" of the kids will be quick to point out your indiscretion. Loudly.

~If you are feeling pretty good about of the kids will be quick to remind you that you still have "a big bum."

~If you just cleaned the floors...someone will track in something. And it will usually stain, too.

~If one of the children has a doctor's check up...they will usually find some way to injure themselves directly before the appointment. There is nothing I love better, than explaining 3 bruises and bump on their head..."Yes, doctor, I know she looks like I beat her...".

~If you ever tell your child, "Stop that, before I beat you!"...they will choose to tell the doctor this, while you're explaining the 3 bruises and the bump on their head...

~If you are the point where you can barely see straight...and all of the children are will still stay up...long enough to blog.


Coby said...

What's truely amazing is that this is true of EVERY child. How do they know? The early wake up, the clean car mess up, the look of abuse the day before the Dr. visit, the repeating of what's not to be repeated...HOW DO THEY KNOW. It's just good to know I'm not alone!

Erin said...

u make me laugh! i love the pic on your banner.

Angela said...

So, so true!

Tinabean said...

Are you sure you don't live at my house?
These things are all so very true I am laughing so hard.
I think I can relate to every single one of them.

suebug said...

Um...why are you blogging about my life's creepy ;)!

Andrea said...

I love it when you do posts like this. Not only does it give me a small glimpse into your life (which sounds CRAZY as always, by the way!)...but it's just so darned funny!

(and I'm not laughing AT you...)


Robbie and Mindy said...

Canyon went with me to one of Sawyer's check ups when he was a baby and told the doctor, "When he cries we have to beed him."(he couldn't pronounce his f's) The doctor thought he said "When he cries we have to beat him." There was an ackward moment when the doctor didn't know what to say and then I realized what he thought Canyon had said. I had to clear is all up for him.