Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Expectations

We are our own worst critic. I know this and still...
I end each day feeling like a failure.
Did I yell too much? Did I not play with the kids enough? Did I make sure they ate enough vegetables? I should have read them another story. Did they watch too much TV? Do they know how much I love them? I should have hugged them more. Did I challenge them enough?
As if that wasn't enough...I'm not just a Mom. That leads to:
I need to call that friend/family member more. I didn't give work my full attention. I could have studied more. My house could be cleaner. I need to walk the dog. Did I thank that person enough, for all they did for me? I shouldn't have eaten that ice-cream. I should have gone to the gym.
It's hard always feeling like you aren't good enough. Or haven't done enough. Or could be better. Or could do more. Or could give more.
I want to be everything, to everyone.
But that's a lot of pressure.
I just one day where I go to sleep, satisfied with my day.
Knowing that I did, all that I could do.

8 comments:

suebug said...

My dear friend. My true friend. You ARE enough. You are GOOD enough. You are smart, talented, fabulous in every way! You are like supermom- and yes, your kids eat enough veggies- your kids are the best eaters in the world- please have them teach my kids!!!! You read enough, loved enough, cared enough, tested enough and pushed enough with EACH and EVERY child! You are a good mom, a good wife...sleep soundly tonight. Cause you ARE enough!

bequi said...

When your kids look back on life, they're not going to remember the one afternoon mom had to catch up on laundry instead of play. They'll remember how much you loved them and watched out for them, and that's all that really matters. You're amazing and I truly look up to you.

Andrea said...

Sigh...that's right along the lines of something I posted last week. We seem to post about similar things a lot, you and I.

miss sarah said...

you are so fantastic it boggles my mind.

i honestly aspire to be one-tenth the mother that you are. you are fantastic, caring, loving, giving, watchful, careful and delightful. times 5.

i think the fact that you actually care means you're doing pretty well. i can't help but think of all the poor children whose mothers couldn't care less if they're home by dark, if they've washed their hair, if they've ever even tasted a green bean.

i love you, leeann. you rock my socks right off.

Stacy said...

If you figure out how to do that, let me know! :)

Mom said...

Stop being so critical of yourself. You do do enough for your kids and everyone around you. Lighten up and be happy for the accomplishments you have made. You are a better person than what you give yourself credit for. You've grown into a wonderful and caring person. I know, I raised you.

Shannon said...

This post talked to me. I do the SAME THING, day after day. Why is is that we do this to ourselves? I understand that setting high goals is a way to achieve more, but goodness!

Thank you for sharing this private moment. I hope the positives begin to jump out at you!! I know one hits me every time I read your blog.......you are a mother of FIVE children and are taking classes too???? GEESH!!! You are a super mom for THAT FACT alone! Not to mention what an amazing mother you are to each of your children.

Dallas said...

I was thinking this same thing last week. How do I feel like I'm good enough?