Friday, April 3, 2009

I'm A Survivor

It's amazing to me, how much life can change in one year.

One year ago today, I ventured into a depth of hell that no woman should ever have to experience. That was the day that denial would no longer be my protection and I had to accept the fact that our baby had died. I have never cried so many tears, than I did in the days leading up to the D&C. I never knew, until that day, that one can literally feel their heart break and it is the worst pain in the world. I had never known that there was a pain so deep and so raw, that no medicine could touch it.

I never would have guess that one year later I would be holding another baby. Presley is more than a preemie miracle...she is the angel that saved me. She was sent to heal me from the wounds that no one could see.

While I still wonder about my unborn child and even sometimes shed a few tears for a life that never got to be, I have healed. I look forward to that glorious day in Heaven when my little one will grab me by the hand and answer all the questions in my heart.

Until then, I will know how very special I am, to be the Mommy of an angel. Mommies of angels are incredible people. Only when you are the Mommy of an angel, can you truly understand the miracle of life and pure love. It takes a special love a soul...that she never got to meet.


Chris, Emily and Ryker Allen said...

That was beauitful! I am happy that you have peace knowing that you will see your baby again one day.

Whitney said...

You are a wonderful and strong woman! Thank you for your beautiful words!

Stacy said...

Well said.

Tinabean said...

I love that little poem & your words.
I lost 2 babies & I have no doubt in my mind that they are where they should be & I will see them again someday.
It's still hard wondering & thinking about them though.
I'm glad that you have your little angel baby.

The Joseph and Crystal Albrecht Family said...

On April 6th, it will have been 4 years since I lost my baby girl Faith. I know how you feel and love how you expressed your feelings.

bequi said...

Did you know I look up to you? It's true. You get this all the time, but you are beautiful, amazing, smart, fun, and kind.

Andrea said...

That was such a beautiful post. You are a remarkable woman, and I am so happy that God chose to bless you with your sweet Presley to help heal your pain.

sa said...