This is my 5th baby. You'd think that I have everything under control and I'd know how to handle anything that comes my way. I'm finding that this is not the case and I've been thrown a curve ball with this one. Postpartum depression.
Is it due to her premature birth and the stress that came with that? Is it due to the fact that she was my first emergency c-section, when I had planned on another natural birth? Is it due to the fact that she's the 5th child and I'm cracking under pressure? Is it due to the fact that she is my last baby and I'm having a hard time accepting that? Is it due to the fact that I started exhibiting depression symptoms during the pregnancy?
I don't know. All I know is that I haven't been myself since she was born. I go see my doctor for my follow up appointment next week. I'm going to talk to him then and see what we can do about getting me back on track. Obviously the medication I'm on now isn't working.
I want to wake up in the morning and feel like I've slept good. I want to have enough energy to do what needs to get done. I want to get my butt back to the gym and pick up where I left off. I need to start feeling better.
So, if it seems like I've dropped off the planet - not commenting on blogs - not returning phone calls/texts/emails - that's why. But, I'm working on fixing it. One day at a time.