My heart is full...but my arms are empty.
I have never been in so much pain, as I was tonight, when I walked out the doors of the hospital without my baby.
I know she is where she needs to be, but it's hard when I also know that where she needs to be is with her Mommy.
As of now, the plan will be for me to spend my days at the hospital and come home at night to sleep. I'm torn between wanting to be home with the kids and wanting to be with Pres. Hopefully, I won't live this divided lifestyle for long.
I called to check on her tonight and she is doing great! They have been weaning her off her IV over the last couple days. Every time she has a good glucose reading, they bump it down. One more good reading and she will be off her IV by morning. They are also going to see if she can maintain her own temperature and move her to an open crib by morning. She is still on a nasal cannula. She isn't on oxygen, it's just a small amount of room air coming out, helping to keep her sacs open. They tried to take her off today and she lasted about an hour, but then had some trouble. But, all in good time. She'll be off that soon enough.
I can't wait to bring her home. She is so beautiful and so sweet. She loves to cuddle with me and already searches around the room, when she hears my voice. I am so lucky to be her Mom.