Mommy guilt is a powerful thing. You have no idea how often I feel guilty. I feel guilty when you ask me, daily, when we're going to Disneyland and I have to tell you that we don't have the money. I feel guilty when I can't buy you everything I want to...even though I know that's probably for the better.
Lately, I feel guilty for how often I have to say, "I can't right now, I'm doing homework." or "We can't today, Mommy has to go to school." It's hard for me to turn you away, knowing that you are only little, for a short time.
I try to make up for it and I hope you know that. I might not have been able to color with you you, but I have started tucking you in, even though that was Daddy's job before. We couldn't stay at the park "just a little longer...please...Mom!?", but I make sure that we do your homework together every night. I might miss your soccer practice every week, because I'm in school, but I'm up early every Saturday morning to cheer you on at your games.
It's a fine balance, being a Mommy and a student. Ultimately, I am doing this for you guys. I am doing this to make your lives better. That Disneyland trip? Well, I want to take you. College? I want to make it a little easier for you.
When it comes down to it, I want to make you proud of me. I want you to look at your Mom and forget about the time I made you cookies, but was so busy multi-tasking, that I forgot the chocolate chips. I want you to know that the sacrifices I'm making now...and you're making too...will benefit us all in the long run.
You guys are my everything. There is nothing that I wouldn't do for you. It just might be tomorrow when I get time...instead of right now.
With love, Mommy