Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Thursday Thirteen #29-Things I Don't Understand

13 Things I Just Don't Understand

1. If I give my son a cup, with 2 tablespoons of juice in it, how does he manage to get it all over himself, the table, the chair and the floor? It's like the amount multiplies, when he touches it.

2. Why can my son only go pee-pee in the potty when there is a candy reward being offered? How does his bladder know when/when not a tootsie roll is available?

3. How does a SAHM, of four children, with one on the way, qualify for reduced lunch...but not a grant for school? God forbid she gets any help obtaining her education, to better her family's life.

4. What subliminal messages is "Yo-Gabba-Gabba" sending my children...that makes them zone out for 20 minutes?

5. Why can my sister (love you Brat!) eat a double cheeseburger and lose 5 pounds, while I eat a salad...dressing on the side...and gain 10 pounds?

6. Why can't my husband read my mind? Honestly, we've been together for 10 years...why doesn't he just get it? :)

7. Why do some Mommies still look at me, like they are better than me? Yeah, I get it, you were a cheerleader in high school. That was ten years ago. Get over yourself.

8. How do my kids hear me lock my bedroom door, from anywhere within 500 feet of the house? I just want some quiet time...a moment to myself...the door locking is not the signal to come harass me.

9. Why do people feel the need to comment on the number of children I have and their ages? I chose to have them. I chose when to have them. Someone saying "Don't you know what causes that?", isn't cute or even funny.

10. People that dress up their pets, like children. I'm sorry, I just don't get it.

11. Even worse, when people with only dogs for "children", try to give advice in parental conversations. not compare your "Boo-boo" or your "Mr. Tinkles", to my daughter. When "Mr.Tinkles" comes to ask you how babies are born, come talk to me.

12. How do people factor polynomials in their head? Honestly, my brain just doesn't work that way. But, if I'm going to keep up with my Polish-speaking math professor this semester, I better learn. Before next week.

13. Three year olds. Enough said.


Amy said...

Oh geez, I love your 13 things you can't understand... I love even more that you can get them in an organized order and sound so hilarious. But seriously, if anyone says dumb comments about the amount of children you have its just because they WISH they could be like you! I do!

Kris said...

LOL Great list! I needed the laugh tonight. And, hey, let me tell you what my dog did yesterday...

Yeah, I'm kidding. ;-)

Candy Minx said...

Don't let anyone bad vibe you about your kids and such...your family is absolutely gorgeous. Your children are wonderfully adorable.

I really enjoyed this list, thanks it was also very funny!

Here is my TT list:

Yasmin said...

happy tt and lol about #13...sounds like you have a great sense of humor...oh yeah i envy your sister!

tinabean1988 said...

I'm right there with you on most of those.
Especially the one about the girls looking at you like they're better, and the how many children one.
People are always judging me saying that I have 2 families because I have a 16 & a 13 year old & I now have 2 15 month old twin boys.
NO I have one family just a big gap!

elaine said...

yeah i don't have any kids, but i don't dress up my dog or give doggie parental advice lol but don't let people bug you about kids, i would love 5 kids about now

Hootin' Anni said...

This is a very good 13...lots of depth and thought. I liked it a lot, and all the time reading it I was shaking my head in agreement...'til #13! That made me giggle!!! [Wait 'til you have your youngest at age 36 like me and he buys some foolish thing like a saxophone instead of paying that is NOT something I can understand. rofl]

My 13 are listed, I do hope you can find time to stop over! happy thursday

Pam said...

that is a fabulous list!

common mom said...

This is an excellent 13!!!

I remember trying to get money to help with college . . . oh. my. GAWD! How annoying . . . I mean, we could barely put food on the table, yet I didn't qualify for ANY financial aid . . . because my parents were divorced and remarried, they figured I had 4 incomes to use. Um ya . . . that "extra money" - kinda needed to be used for food and water for the step kids.

Sheesh . . . I wish you luck in getting some moolah for school!

And I SOOOOO get the cheeseburger thing . . . quite annoying, isn't it ;-)

suebug said...

Okay, the pet one... I 100% TOTALLY AGREE WITH THAT ONE!! I HATE THAT!!! I can NOT stand people who in any ANY way shape or form place themselves in the rank of parents
(and truly believe they ARE) just because they bought a dog/cat and now have something other than themselves to worry about feeding...THAT DOES NOT MAKE YOU A PARENT!!!!! AHHH!! anyways... loved the read!

Beth said...

I teach high school math and honestly, factoring is one of my FAVORITE areas! Like (x squared - 7x + 10). Is this what you mean? You just have to ask yourself "what two numbers will multiply to give me 10 and add to give me -7?" It's -2 and -5, so the polynomial factored is (x-2()x-5). It's like putting together a puzzle; at least that's what I tell my students!