13 Things I Just Don't Understand
1. If I give my son a cup, with 2 tablespoons of juice in it, how does he manage to get it all over himself, the table, the chair and the floor? It's like the amount multiplies, when he touches it.
2. Why can my son only go pee-pee in the potty when there is a candy reward being offered? How does his bladder know when/when not a tootsie roll is available?
3. How does a SAHM, of four children, with one on the way, qualify for reduced lunch...but not a grant for school? God forbid she gets any help obtaining her education, to better her family's life.
4. What subliminal messages is "Yo-Gabba-Gabba" sending my children...that makes them zone out for 20 minutes?
5. Why can my sister (love you Brat!) eat a double cheeseburger and lose 5 pounds, while I eat a salad...dressing on the side...and gain 10 pounds?
6. Why can't my husband read my mind? Honestly, we've been together for 10 years...why doesn't he just get it? :)
7. Why do some Mommies still look at me, like they are better than me? Yeah, I get it, you were a cheerleader in high school. That was ten years ago. Get over yourself.
8. How do my kids hear me lock my bedroom door, from anywhere within 500 feet of the house? I just want some quiet time...a moment to myself...the door locking is not the signal to come harass me.
9. Why do people feel the need to comment on the number of children I have and their ages? I chose to have them. I chose when to have them. Someone saying "Don't you know what causes that?", isn't cute or even funny.
10. People that dress up their pets, like children. I'm sorry, I just don't get it.
11. Even worse, when people with only dogs for "children", try to give advice in parental conversations. Please...do not compare your "Boo-boo" or your "Mr. Tinkles", to my daughter. When "Mr.Tinkles" comes to ask you how babies are born, come talk to me.
12. How do people factor polynomials in their head? Honestly, my brain just doesn't work that way. But, if I'm going to keep up with my Polish-speaking math professor this semester, I better learn. Before next week.
13. Three year olds. Enough said.