Sunday, June 1, 2008

I'm Done

I don't know what to do about the fighting in this house. It is constant bickering, screaming, yelling, hitting, kicking, biting, teasing, whining and temper tantrums in this house.
I try rewarding for good behavior.
I try time-outs.
I try talking to them.
I try taking their stuff away.
I resort to yelling and screaming and the occasional spanking when the 3 year old tries to bite off the 5 year old's fingers.
It's enough to make me want to pull my hair out.
No one listens to me. Sometimes I want to walk out the front door and keep going.
I'm sure a lot of it has to do with my current surging hormones and the fact that I am exhausted...but it seems so much worse lately. Everyday, I am struggling not to lose it.
Why can't they just get along? They have their moments when they are all playing dress-up, or school or circus...and I think "Finally! They are finally getting along." Sadly, that doesn't last very long and I find myself with a huge mess to contend with and four kids that are having melt-downs.
I want my husband to come home to a clean house, children fed and bathed and the babies in bed. Instead, he comes home to a messy house that I gave up on, kids that ate a cinnamon roll and strawberries for dinner and a flooded bathroom...because for the ten minutes of quiet that it gave me, I let them having swimming lessons in the tub during bath time.
When he walks in the door, I shut down. I hand them over to him, wordlessly, and retreat into a blanket on the couch, that I only emerge from for bedtime kisses and hugs. After having them for 14 hours by myself, Josh walking in the door is the only thing saving me from repeatedly banging my head against the wall.
How in the world am I going to survive this summer?


Sharon said...

Oh man! I hope things get better fast for you, cause you need your rest. I wish I could offer some advice, but I'm afraid it will be you giving me advice when I'm in the same situation in a few years! I am quite sure I would trade a flooded bathroom for ten minutes of quiet, too!

Pam said...

I am so sorry that you are feeling so down. Don't be too hard on yourself- your body is working hard to grow that baby! That is exhausting and hard work. Then on top of it, you have 4 kids to care for. I think you are doing a great job and it is okay that after 14 hours you let hubby take over. He loves you and he understands! If it helps any- I only have 2 and I am not pregnant and I feel like this most days too. Then I make up crazy songs ;) I hope this week goes better. If not, this is my last week of teaching- pack a bag and send a kid or two my way to visit ;) Or just come yourself!

Mom said...

Sorry to hear about your bad luck with the kids. They will out grow it and yes, you will have to keep on them all the time and follow through with your threats. I know cuz my last 3 are only 1 yr apart. Thank god for my oldest that helped out a lot with them too. Do you know who I'm talking about? Hang in there, it only gets worse when they become teenagers.

Stacy said...

Oh my! I already know those days, and sadly, I only have one child. I CANNOT imagine the headache multiplied by four. How am I going to handle two? LOL! I think you are doing great. Good luck!

Andrea said...

Oh, I feel your PAIN!! I have the exact same issues at my house -- and only TWO kids to deal with!!

It's enough to drive me insane though.

When I'm having 'one of those days' (which is practically every single day), I'll remind myself that you are having the same day TIMES TWO!!!

Jenn said...

14 hours is a long time when you are out numbered. I often want to hand mine over after 1.5 hours...and I work away from them all day.

Put a sprinkler in the yard and let them run around like crazy while you watch from a comfy shaded chair with a frozen lemonade.

Tammy said...

For a minute there I thought that you were describing my house! Then I remembered that mine is actually WORSE! I sure hope your days get better because I am also secretly hoping that mine do too.

common mom said...

So sorry :-( Your kiddoes are just getting used to being together all day again . . . and the little one inside you isn't helping you cope either! It'll get better - it has to, right?

I hear ya though . . . no less than 3 times a week I say to my kids "Stop it! You're supposed to LOVE each other! Why can't you just stop fighting and get along!"

Then I marvel at how well they actually do get along and play with each other.

bequi said...

Hey, my sister suggests playing quiet music in the house. I've heard from several moms that when they play instrumental CD's or hymns or something in the background, the kids fight less. If you'd like, I'll test this theory in a few years and get back to you on it. ;-)

bequi said...

Also, I used to babysit my little sisters a lot and I always gave them "Splash Time" in the tub. It was my secret for getting their hair wet before I shampoo'd it.