Thursday, April 17, 2008

Manic Mommy

Dear Child-Whines-A-Lot,
You know that noise you make? That whining? I am tired of listening to it. Mommy is ready to rip her ears off her head. Seriously. And I don't even have hair long enough to cover that up. It won't be pretty.
When Mommy says that you cannot have another rice crispy treat, it is not a suggestion. It is my Final Answer. Do not whine. Or beg. Or ask over and over until my face goes red, my hands clinch into fists and screaming begins pouring from my mouth.
And the way you are laying on the couch right now, crying like you are going to die, is not attractive. I'm going to film this and show it to every boy that you bring home.
On second thought, you may never get married and MOVE OUT, if I do that.
Really. The world is not coming to an end because I am not letting you have another delicious, marshmellowy treat. Or because you can't find your shoes. Or because someone looked at you. Or because I want to listen to the radio, instead of watching Hannah Montana. Again. Or because someone colored in your notebook. Or because your toothbrush wasn't the right color.
So, perk up, would ya? Didn't anyone teach you the #1 rule of the house? "If MOMMA ain't happy, ain't NOBODY happy." And listening to this crying...MOMMA AIN'T HAPPY.
Love,
Your Manic Mommy

9 comments:

Stacy said...

Cute post! I like it!

And sadly, I feel it!

Candygirlflies said...

Right there in the trenches, along side ya, baby...

***scccrrrreeeeeeaaaaammmmmmmmmm***

xo CGF

TheVasquez3 said...

awesome!

mmmm marshmallowy goodness...yum!

Steph said...

"But, Moooooooooooommy!!! Your ruining my life!!!"

Oh sister I've been there and am still livin it!! ((HUGS)))

Pam said...

hee hee! I am so glad to hear this because I feel the same way! I just told Ashlyn "no she can't wait her tiny skirt tomorrow" and she throws herself on her bed to pout. I then say "you don't have to like it, you just have to listen". This is met with more pouting and whining. Finally I say- you can stop pouting and do what I ask or I can take your skirt and put it away and you can't wear it ever anymore.

A bit drastic? Probably.....but I can't- take- the- whining!

Kelly said...

Can I have a copy of this letter? That way tomorrow when I feel that way 50 times,I don't have to reinvent the wheel!

Andrea said...

that was hilarious!!
have i ever told you how much i love your sense of humour??

mom said...

Let me guess! Avery?

common mom said...

Oh I sooooooo ohear ya!!! I can handle lots of things . . . I can ignore lots of things . . . one thing I cannot handle or ignore is WHINING! Nothing brings me to the edge faster than my whining child.

Sorry man - we should get our daughters together in a room and see who wins :-)