Wednesday, January 30, 2008

This Child Overwhelms Me

The antics of my 2 year old are nothing new. I'd even like to think they are nothing special...she will outgrow this...RIGHT? So, I give you a couple stories of things that happened yesterday, to tickle your funny bone. The first story didn't tickle mine, but I'm sure that you'll find it funny.

I babysit a 3rd grader and a kindergartner, four days a week. They are dropped off at my house at six in the morning, so that means that I have 6 kids to feed and get ready for the day. Yesterday went particularly well, I got out the door 15 minutes ahead of schedule. (Translation: I am usually running 5 minutes behind, so really...10 minutes early.)
I drop off the kindergartner and my 1st grader at one school and drop the 3rd grader off at another. (My town splits the elementary schools. We only have 2 and one houses the K-2nd grade, the other houses 3rd-6th. I really like this.)
Then, I head off to drop off the pre-schooler. I always walk her to the door, because sometimes she can't get the door open and her teacher is a friend of mine, so I like to chat with her a bit.
As, I kiss her good-bye and start to walk back to the car, I am ecstatic that I got everyone off to school early. All of a sudden, BAM!!! I slip on the icy driveway, roll my ankle (PAIN!), smack my knee and fall on my face.
Picking up my sore body (and my dignity), I hobble toward my mini-van, only to discover...my 2 year old has locked me out of my running van. Oh yeah. She locked all the doors (damn power lock) and is now sitting back in her car seat trying to re-buckle herself. Ten minutes of pleading, begging, crying, yelling and threatening later...I'm still locked out.
Then, another friend of mine shows up to drop off her daughter. Luckily, she happened to bring her new puppy and 5 minutes later, Avery finally rolled down the window to pet the puppy. Fifteen minutes of being in the cold, while hobbling on my sore ankle...made for a very cranky Mommy.

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Me: "What do you want for your birthday?"
Avery: "The smallest, smallest, smallest, smallest present."
Me: "What do you want in that smallest present?"
Avery: "A little, big present."
Me: "Huh. Do you want a puppy?"
Avery: "Yeah!"
Me: "Do you want a pony?"
Avery: "Yeah!"
Me: "Do you want an elephant?"
Avery: ""Yeah!"
Me: "Do you want a giraffe?"
Avery: "Yeah!"
Me: "Where are you going to keep a giraffe?"
Avery: "In a hole."
Me: (laughing) "Okay, what about the elephant? Where are you going to keep an elephant?"
Avery: (completely serious) "In the vacuum."
Me: (doubled over laughing) "In the vacuum?"
Avery:"Yeah, he's gonna hang out in the vacuum."
Me: "Oh. Makes sense." (giggle giggle)
Avery: "...and a DVD to watch a show."
Me: "Oh, yeah?"
Avery: "...and a little, big house."
Me: "You want a little, big house, of your own, to watch your show in?"
Avery: "Yeah."
Me: "If you have your own little, big house, who is going to cook you dinner?"
Avery: "Pancakes. Me and Barbie having pancakes. Barbie will sit in a chair."

I never claimed she was short on imagination! :)

8 comments:

Jen said...

That is the funniest thing ever! I'm glad your friend brought the puppy! I'm feeling your pain for a crazy day though, I'm sorry. You'll be glad to know you're not the only one that has slipped on the ice losing your dignity! I managed to break my leg horribly when I fell on the ice. . . wish it could've been something cool like a skiing accident or something! Oh well!

common mom said...

I'm SOOO sorry about your time at school! Excellent that your friend brought her puppy - maybe I should take my puppy to preschool drop off Just In Case :-)

I love kids' imaginations! My son has this imagination that won't stop . . . it's fun to listen to the things he comes up with - I hope he never loses that :-)

Sniz said...

What an adorable, adorable story! I'm sorry about your ankle though. :-(

TheVasquez3 said...

ok i didnt think it would get funnier than the bubble gum warning...oh how wrong i was!

your blog so brightens my day. thanks for sharing all of your bloggy goodness! truly, wonderful stuff!

Pam said...

She does keep you busy! I am sorry that you feel- ouch!! One day she will learn to channel all this into productive creativity....you may lose all your hair first though ;)

Regina said...

HAHAHA! She has to get it from someone!

Candygirlflies said...

Oh, dear Lord...

The trouble with having kids like these (I have one, too. She's now six, and I hate to tell you, she's getting more dangerous with age) is that if you DON'T laugh over their antics, you cry!!! And cry, and cry, and cry...

So, laugh with me!! It's WAY more fun.

xo CGF

ps. How's your ankle et al? Poor baby...

Big Doofus said...

This kid sounds smart. I was very smart when I was little. I'm STILL smart. A smart-_ _ _ .