Friday, August 31, 2007
The doctor already has me on medication to level out my hormones due to hypothyroidism. We discovered I had this, because I explained to my doc that I just cannot lose weight. I exercise. I eat wheat everything. I drink skim milk. No fried food. Barely any cheese. No weight lost. So, we discovered the thyroid imbalance. In comes the "wonder drug" *spoken in a loud, booming voice* and it normalizes my blood test. And makes me gain 10 pounds in 6 weeks. NOT A HAPPY CAMPER.
So, here we are. Doing weight watchers...Join me on my journey!
Thursday, August 30, 2007
1. Wake up (after hitting snooze twice).
2. Wake up the 4 kids, advising the older ones to brush their teeth and make their beds.
3. Climb in the shower while the older ones are not brushing their teeth or making their bed.
4. "Invite" in the 15 month old pounding on my shower door.
5. Fend off the 15 month old who has spotted Mommy's naked chest and doesn't remember that he has been weaned...2 months ago!
6. Climb out of the shower and dry off while refereeing a fist fight over who is wearing what shirt to school. (they are 4 and 6...this is starting already???)
7. Climb back into the shower after I discover that I never rinsed out my conditioner.
8. Out of the shower again.
9. Manage to put lotion on half my face before I realize that the 2 year old is missing. This usually means she is either: coloring on the walls, smearing toothpaste on the mirror in the kids' bathroom, running outside naked, eating a bottle of lotion or squirting apple juice on the rug.
10. Find the 2 year old, naked, coloring on the wall and drinking apple juice.
11. Yell to the 4 year old and 6 year old to "BRUSH THEIR FREAKING TEETH, ALREADY!"
12. Discover that I never put a diaper on the 15 month old boy and now he is playing "sprinkler" on my bedroom rug.
13. Somehow manage to get all children clothed, including underwear/diapers.
14. Start doing hair only have them fight over who's hair I do first. ("Why is her hair curled?" "Why does she have 2 ponytails?" "I wanted 2 clippies!")
15. Now, they are all dressed and downstairs waiting for breakfast.
16. Curse myself for not wiping the table good enough after dinner last night, and now I have to chip dried spaghetti sauce off the table.
17. Convince myself that a pop-tart, grapes and milk is a well-balanced meal.
18. Not search for shoes (because I was anal enough to give each child their own Rubbermaid box in the garage, complete with their name, to put their shoes in.)
19. CRAP! Search for shoes, because their Rubbermaid boxes have shoes in them...just none that match!
20. Load all children, backpacks, shoes, homework and other paraphernalia into the van.
21. Run back into the house for keys.
22. Run back into the house for something...anything...because it's show and tell day in pre-school.
23. Realize that I previously decided that the chicken nuggets and fries that the school was serving for lunch was unhealthy...so I needed to make the 6 year old a lunch.
24. Run back into the house and throw juice, peanut-butter crackers, yogurt and cantaloupe in her lunchbox.
25. Drop off the 6 year old at school...with a hug, a kiss and a smile.
26. Drop the 4 year old off at pre-school with the same.
27. Drive home with the 15 month old shrieking and the 2 year old yelling, "TURN IT UP!!!"
28. Get home and find that the 6 year old left her lunch box on the floor of the van.
29. Go back to the elementary school and bring it to the office with apologies.
30. Return to the van, chanting, "I'm NOT a bad mother. I'm NOT a bad mother. I'm NOT a bad mother."
31. Find that the 2 year old got out of her car seat AGAIN and is now jamming out to the sounds of Fergie and the screaming 15 month old.
32. Drive home and recognize several things:
a. I never finished lotioning my face.
b.Those darn kids never made their beds.
c. Toothpaste was smeared all over the mirror. And the wall. And the cat.
d. My 15 month old son is wearing a girl's shirt.
e. I haven't brushed the 2 year old or 15 month old's teeth yet.
f. I have to do this all over again tomorrow morning.
As we come upon the anniversary of Jared's death and we deal with the ever present shadow of Mom's cancer, this was an eye-opening show.
Some call it denial, but I prefer not to think about Mom's cancer. I prefer to "pretend" that it is not happening and to just live in the moment. I want to think about now and the fact that she is healthy now. I don't want to think of the day that my daughters' marry or my son goes on his mission...and wonder if Mom will be there to hold me when I cry.
Because a few of the women on the show have incurable cancer, which is what Mom has, they asked the question:
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Monday, August 27, 2007
Ryleigh says: "Why does your belly look like that?"
I say: "Wrinkly?"
Ryleigh says: "Yeah."
I say: "Because you guys lived in my belly when you were tiny babies and it got stretched out. Now it looks like this."
Ryleigh says: "Will it always look like that?"
I say: "Well, some form of this." (Meanwhile I'm thinking, "Please God, NOOOO!)
Ryleigh says: "Does it hurt?"
I say: "Does what hurt?"
Ryleigh says: "When they take the baby out?"
I say: "Sometimes. But then they give you medicine and then you are okay."
Ryleigh says: "I'm not having babies."
Ryleigh says: "Because it will hurt. And I don't like babies."
I say:"You play with babies all the time."
Ryleigh says: "They are fake, Mom...and they don't poop!"
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Friday, August 24, 2007
-Pick your battles. Make the kid eat vegetables, but if she wants to wear a skirt over her jeans to Wal-mart, let her.
-Asking a child to do ANYTHING in a nice tone is going to get it done a lot faster than yelling.
-Unconditional love. If anyone but my own child woke me up several times a night, constantly spewed bodily fluids on me and colored on all of my earthly possessions...I'd have to kill them.
-How much I love and appreciate their father. Not everyone is lucky enough to have a spouse that is as involved as he is.
-Teaching them to throw away their own diapers in the garbage will only result in lost car keys later!
-Each child is different. You have to parent differently for each personality.
-They WILL eventually be potty trained. (right?)
-Mr. Clean Magic Erasers are a gift from God.
-If Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy! I need time to read a book or take a bath or exercise more than the kids need dust-free ceiling fans and clean baseboards.
-Children that talk in their sleep provide funny night time entertainment.
-I am doing the best that I can. They are growing up in a home with loving parents that try to listen and TRY to keep their patience.
-Having candy for dinner once in their lifetime will not make them nutritionally deficient.
-Grandma knows everything. Call her for advice, to go with you to the emergeny room and to take your children for an hour so that you don't maim them.
-This will not last forever. Someday, when my house is always clean and always quiet, I will miss the sticky kisses and the pitter patter of little feet on the kitchen tile.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
This is a highly favorable period for the evolution of your relationships with the people closest to you, dear Virgo. In fact, this is an excellent period to improve your relationships with everyone! You are very concerned about keeping an atmosphere of harmony in your family life, so much so that you are upset when even the slightest changes occur. Don't take everything so personally. Relax a little.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
1. Those huge families that you see on the Discovery Health Channel that have 14 kids and home school...do it because there is no way that they can feed, clothe and find shoes for all those kids in time for the first bell! Keeping them all home, in pajamas and barefoot is much easier!
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Monday, August 20, 2007
-We have 1 son (age: 1)
-We want 2 more children. (one day)
A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud. There were empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard. The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog.
Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall. In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.
He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened. He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way under the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls.
As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed, in her pajamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went.He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?"
She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world I do all day?"
"Yes," was his incredulous reply.
She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it."
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Thursday, August 16, 2007
The world can make you crazy. It's no wonder that over half of the population is on anti-depressants! We constantly have to filter so much noise and chaos...it's a wonder that we function at all.
All I want is a dark closet and the noise of nothingness. I can picture it now. My happy place.
Wait! What's that I see?
Little fingers waggling under the door. They always find me.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Yup, that's right. I gave the boy a "sheep herder's bath" as my husband calls it. In the cold creek he went. It's not my fault he felt the need to touch something sticky and then roll in the dirt every 10 seconds! He did fine and he had a nice fluffy towel waiting for him!
My cutie boy all clean. He stayed this way for all of 5 minutes!
Avery and Ryleigh "riding" the 4-wheeler. You could even hear them making fake "riding" noises. Vrooom! Vroooooom!
Bailey posing for the camera as usual.
Ryleigh's first fish! She reeled it in all by herself with her Barbie pole!
I took Avery on a ride and it lulled her right to sleep! I don't know how she slept through the bumpy trail, but I guess she liked it!
"Hi, Mom! Yep, that's right...I am FILTHY and loving it!"
Josh getting the fishing poles ready. After the first day, he held a "fishing seminar" teaching everyone how to fix their own hooks and unhook their own fish. I guess he wanted more time to fish for himself and less time fixing everyone else's poles! He said that next year everyone will be gutting their own fish, too. Because I am married to the instructor, I have a pass on that one! :)
Things I don't want to forget about our camping trip:
-All the people who went: Me, Josh, Bay, Roo, Avers, Lukey, Mom, Dad, Brat, Landon, Eric, Cody, Daniel, Zac, Kristine, Cassie, Nate, Sammie, Gail, Kevin, Caleb, Trevor and dogs: Joey and Daisy
-Cassie hitting herself in the face
-Playing Phase 10 by fire light
-Gail smacking Caleb in the face with a fish
-Daniel not catching a fish all weekend and then catching a 3 inch long one
-Roasting Starbursts over the fire
-Making cinammon rolls over the fire
-Tree art (hee hee hee)
-Joey and Daisy falling out of the trailer on the way home
-Nate scaring the women on the way back from the bathroom, by hiding under the camper and growling
-Dad telling stories of Hatchet Dan and the aliens
-Being told, after the fact, that there was a bear in the campground 2 weeks ago
-The lovely family across from us, that sprayed Lysol in the bathroom every time they used it. We tried to time our bathroom visits with theirs!
-The girls, Cassie, Sammie and Kristine made beaded necklaces
-Landon crying every time we took him off the 4-wheeler
-The little kid helmet getting stolen-THIEVES!
-Going on a 4-wheeler ride and catching up to a truck. The driver was peeing in the road!
GOOD-BYE SUMMER 2007!! On to the school year and new memories!
Thursday, August 9, 2007
I read this somewhere and it made me laugh. It really sums up our vacation.
"Why do people find camping the all-American past-time? Why do they work their butts off all year and save up their vacation time...so that they can pretend to be homeless for a week?"
Just pray for me. I don't want to get eaten by a bear.
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
-Have you lost weight?
-You don't need make-up.
-You cook that better than my Mom.
-I don't know how you stay home with the kids all day.
-I don't know where I'd be without you.
-You are even more beautiful when you are pregnant.
-Your stretch marks aren't ugly, they are your war wounds. You carried our children in your body. That's nothing to be embarassed of.
-Your job is harder than mine.
-You are an amazing mother.
-I would be nothing without you.
-I'll put the kids to bed. You go take a hot bath.
-Do you need a back rub?
-Our children are lucky to have you as their mother.
Beautiful Words spoken by my husband. I need to pay more attention to these words and less attention to the things that don't matter.
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
Today I went shopping with my 2 youngest and my sister-in-law and her son. We were in line checking out and I had Luke in my cart and behind me was Brittney with her cart. In her cart were Landon and Avery. So, I'm standing in front of the card-swiper to pay and Avery is right behind me, standing in the cart. She keeps saying "thank-you, thank-you" and I thought she was just being nice to the cashier. The cashier asks if she is with me and I said yes. So, as I am putting my bagged items in the cart, I notice that Avery had slipped a little toy up on the conveyor belt (hence the "thank-you, thank-you"). Avery notices that I have put the bag containing her loot into my cart, not hers and she starts whining for it. The cashier then says to her, "It's okay, honey. Your Grandma has it."
I'm guessing that she assumed I was Brittney's Mom and all the kids were Brittney's! I know we were in Tooele County (land of teenage pregnancies)...but that math certainly doesn't add up!
Monday, August 6, 2007
Bailey: No, I don't like that. I like dippy eggs.
Me: Okay, you want a dippy egg?
Me: Okay. Give me a minute and I'll make some.
Bailey: I also like spoiled eggs.
Bailey: I like spoiled eggs. The kind where you cook it and then take the shell off.
Me: You mean boiled eggs.
Sunday, August 5, 2007
Saturday, August 4, 2007
Friday, August 3, 2007
Thursday, August 2, 2007
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Josh was at McDonald's tonight with the kids. The kids were all playing and burning some energy. Also in the play land were 2 other families, each with a few sons. Let's name them Family #1 and Family #2.
A son from #1 went and told his Mom that his little brother spit on a son from #2. The Mom proceeds to repremand her son (who is FOUR YEARS OLD). As she is advising her son to go apologize to the other little boy, Dad from #2 approaches and proceeds to verbally attack her. A few comments made by the father were as follows:
"We are LEAVING! I have 7 children and not one of them has ever spit on anyone!"
"In the courts, this would be considered assault!"
"I'm going to call the cops!"
So, while the Mom from #1 is trying to advise Dad from #2 that she has it under control and is dealing with her son, he leaves and sits outside.
Yep, you guessed it. The cops were called. They came and took statements and walked away giggling, I'm sure. This is what we pay our law enforcement for? To settle fights between 4 year olds and their ill-tempered parents?
Wow. Proof that the world is still crazy. And staying that way.