Monday, November 26, 2007

The Highlights

Well, I survived. It was a long day, but it seemed to go by really fast. If your kids have a tendency to read over your shoulder, you may want to censor this one. Here are a few highlights:
~ We have a stripper in the class, that likes to wear pasties. Please don't ask how I know this. She is really, very nice.
~ One of the guys in my class asked a girl to prom by boxing himself up and shipping the box to the girl. (His Dad works for UPS, so he got away with this.) She opened the box with a knife, causing a surgery-required wound, on his back. Whoops.
~ SOB means "Short of Breath". What did you think it meant?
~ Masturbation was discussed, primarily as a warning, that we may see this in the nursing homes. Our instructor told us about a student (18 years old) a few years ago, that had to raise her hand and ask what masturbation was. To add to it, the instructor received a call the next day from this student's Mom, yelling at her for discussing this with her daughter. Wow.
~ We got to play with catheters today. Thankfully, this is not a procedure that we will practice on each other!
~ Someone in class has eaten a cow penis. When questioned as to why he did this, he said that his father-in-law is from Laos and he shoved it in his face and forced him to try it. My question, (because, of course, I'm a smart ass) was if this would be considered sexual abuse. LOL The stripper thought that was hilarious!
~ It is very important to get the right hole when catheterizing a female. Really? Did that even need to be explained?
Well, I'm off to study. Hopefully, I'll have as good of a day tomorrow. If I survive it, I'll regale you with some more inappropriate stories!

11 comments:

suebug said...

OH MY HECK!! That is hilarious! I had tears running down my cheeks when you talked about the UPS thing, AND the cow penis story! GREAT ones! I loved them all. Glad you made it through the first day, it's easy as pie from here on out right!? :)!

Kellan said...

This sounds like a great reality TV show - really! I love all these interesting things you encountered and learned today - so cool. Hope tomorrow is a good day for you. Take care, Kellan

Regina said...

HAHA! I'm glad your first day was to animated! Your class sounds like the cast from Scrubs, before they got to the hospital stages!

Have an awesome second day!
Blessings, Regina

Nancy Brown said...

I could tell you some hilarious masturbation stories.. You just pull the curtain and walk out. One cleaning lady thought the man was having a seziure. He wasn't...


LOL!!!!lauging!!!

kellyo75 said...

Oh the poor kid. He just wanted a prom date! Glad you had a good first day. I can't wait for more inappropriate stories.

Mom said...

I wish I could have been there with you. Would they consider you "class clown?"

KeepingTrackOfErin said...

ahh. the medical field..isn't it great? i've been working in women's health for 4 years and could write a book on the stories. you'll be amazed at what you learn!! good luck

Steph said...

HAHA! At least you will never be bored!!

Pam said...

OMG! I can't believe how hilarious this way! If my days were this funny....well, I would really enjoy my job! Way to go making friends with the striper...at least when my Ashlyn grows up to be one, then I will know that someone nice out there will be a friend to her ;) (I'll have to post some more videos of her dance moves)

Hope day 2 was great! I'm so proud of you!

Andrea said...

wow -- what an interesting first day!!!

glad you survived!

Sniz said...

Well, all of these are great! I laughed my way through this post. Keep 'em coming!