Thursday, August 30, 2007

Crazy Sexy Cancer

I recently Tivo'ed this new documentary on TLC called Crazy Sexy Cancer. It was (as they described it), the most unpolitically correct documentary on dealing with cancer. It documents 5 women's journeys through several types of cancer.
As we come upon the anniversary of Jared's death and we deal with the ever present shadow of Mom's cancer, this was an eye-opening show.
Some call it denial, but I prefer not to think about Mom's cancer. I prefer to "pretend" that it is not happening and to just live in the moment. I want to think about now and the fact that she is healthy now. I don't want to think of the day that my daughters' marry or my son goes on his mission...and wonder if Mom will be there to hold me when I cry.

Because a few of the women on the show have incurable cancer, which is what Mom has, they asked the question:
"When do I get to call myself a survivor?"
The answer?
"Now"
No matter what degree of cancer you have, or what stage of treatment you are plodding through, you are surviving. You are not giving up, or giving in. Kris, the main narrator of the show, says that, "Cancer is not killing me, it is driving me to live."
That statement made complete sense to me. To face incurable cancer, or any type of fatal disease, would make you appreciate life. It makes you enjoy every moment that you are given. It lets you laugh at the "small stuff", enjoy the "little" moments and love a little harder.
I wish people that say,"I don't know why they go through treatment. I would just let myself die. I wouldn't want to be sick the rest of my life...", would realize that there is so much to live for. Why would you give up on life? Why would you give up on the people that care about you? Why would you give up on the chance to find a cure, or watch your son grow up, or watch your granddaughter marry for time and all eternity? To give in, to lose all hope and to surrender, is no way to go. You might as well fight it kicking and sreaming....with a little laughter thrown in.
"Life is messy and brilliant, gorgeous and staggering, crazy and sexy...just like cancer."

1 comment:

Mommy said...

I'm sorry, I'm one of those that if I got cancer I wouldn't take the treatment because I want to live my life to it's fullest, but not being sick from the treatments.