Friday, April 20, 2007

How To Have A Bad Day

1. You wake up.
2. Your daughter pours pink fingernail polish on the biege carpet.
3. You spend 3 hours scrubbing the carpet with every solution known to man, such as (but not limited to): nail polish remover, rubbing alcohol, hydrogen peroxide, shaving cream (don't laugh, that actually worked the best!), oxyclean, detergent, ect.
4. You get a phone call informing you that the house you had put in for was "awarded" to another family.
5. You find out that the house "awarded" to another family was probably done unfairly and you had an ice cube's chance in hell of getting it in the first place.
6. You cry so hard that you vomit the chips and salsa you just ate. (As a subnote: your throat burns all day because of the salsa.)
7. You give up on the carpet, because you realize that you just don't care anymore.
8. Your cat (who you have already put a bell on!) catches and kills a bird in front of you. Your screaming draws staring from the neighbors.
9. Your daughter (yep, same one that caused the previous trouble) pours bubble solution all over the kitchen floor. Wiping it just causes more bubbles. You decided to leave that for your husband to deal with.
10. You realize that it is only 6:00 and there are still 6 hours left in the day in which you can be maimed and tormented by the world.

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